Legislator Henry Wu King-cheong has not been one to hide his feelings when it comes to the expert report on Hong Kong's regulatory structure. At the last Financial Affairs Panel meeting, he posed quite possibly the longest question in history, to Alan Cameron, the chairman of the expert group. Strangely enough, it now escapes Lai See's memory. Suffice to say, the impression was that Mr Wu did not agree with the criticisms of Mr Cameron's fellow expert group member Peter Clarke. Mr Clarke, you will recall, had a few choice words to offer over the government's U-turn on the issue. Vested interests, caving in to pressure, that kind of thing. There seemed to be a suggestion from Mr Wu that not all opinions had been given equal weight. Which presumably accounts for the question Mr Wu will pose in the Legislative Council today. Who looks after the documents once such an expert group has been dissolved? Where would they be stored, for example? And will they make public the names of individuals or organisations who presented submissions or had interviews with the expert group? Can we see the contents? If not, why not? It could be an interesting exercise. Somehow, however, we think privacy issues may prevail. But there is, of course, the million-dollar question. What did the government's own submission say? Secretary for Financial Services Frederick Ma Si-hang has promised to find out if the government is willing to divulge these details. The Financial Services Bureau promised Lai See it would let us know once a decision had been made. We can hardly wait. But the words 'pigs' and 'fly' do come to mind. potty behaviour Hell hath no fury like a shopper scorned. British retailer Homebase discovered this when an angry customer slapped it with a defamation lawsuit after being banned from their stores. Jo-Ann Bowen-Griffith claimed that when she tried to pay for one of its products at the store, management pointed out that the price-tag had been changed by mistake. An altercation ensued, according to legal Web site Rollonfriday.com, and testy words were exchanged. The upshot was that Homebase banned the woman, saying 'we are not happy with your method of shopping'. Ms Bowen-Griffith responded with the lawsuit. Some snippets so far: Ms Bowen-Griffith had called the cashier a 'silly cow' and made her cry. She also accused her of having bad breath. And the goods she wanted that started the whole fracas? A #1 (HK$12.85) pot plant. dark lark Mystery and romance, they're just so lacking in the world of risk management. But guests at International Risk's recent cocktail do at the Foreign Correspondents' Club spoke of nothing but ambiance and intrigue. There they were, listening to chief executive Steve Vickers speech on some serious topics such as Sars, North Korea and terrorism. And then the venue was plunged into darkness. Mr Vickers marched over to his briefcase. He swiftly pulled out a penlight torch. Yes, obviously Lai See carries one at all times. Staff then handed out flashlights and proceedings continued by torchlight. This sudden romantic atmosphere must have been compelling - guests seemed happy to stay despite the rapidly rising temperature, the aircon also having succumbed to the power cut. Then again, it could have been the free beer. truth is at hand Ah, the joys of e-mail. Every day Lai See's inbox is full of the weird and the wonderless, from the world's smallest digital camera to Viagra, more Viagra and never-ending Nigerian scams. Occasionally there are some gems. Like the world's first and only hand-held lie detector. Yes, you too can find out if you are being cheated on, what your co-workers really think about you and whether the cheque really is in the post. The Truster has an accuracy rate of 84 per cent and is about the same size as a mobile phone. You can even test your own voice for signs of nervousness or excitement. All for the bargain price of US$49.95 Just think, you could even determine whether or not you were a gullible halfwit.