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SCMP Reporter

Tens of thousands of young urban Pakistanis are struggling to find spouses in the traditional matchmaking manner, as the country adjusts to a variety of influences.

Just under two months ago, Shabi Haider took advantage of an innovative solution, boldly appearing on Marriage Online in front of a national television audience to tell Pakistan exactly what qualities he's looking for in a wife.

'After visiting many marriage bureaus, asking my friends and having no luck I had totally given up. So when I saw an advertisement for the show, it seemed like I had nothing to lose,' explains the 27-year-old electrical engineer.

Pursuing marriage is serious social business in Pakistan, where arranged marriages make up more than 90 per cent of matches.

Families take great pains to investigate the heritage, education, piety, class and thinking of various candidates for compatibility before officially asking for marriage consideration from a potential match.

The potential couple is allowed little contact - out of consideration for each others' honour - until some agreement between the families is reached.

The only other reasonably acceptable mode for finding a spouse - as love marriages are still widely viewed with scorn - is to  visit a marriage bureau.

But the procedure requires a deposit of anywhere between US$75 and US$175 plus a fee of as much as  US$400 upon marriage. These high prices make such service unaffordable for most families in this impoverished South Asian nation, where more than 30 per cent of the population survives on less than a dollar a day.

Mr Haider's father is dead, leaving him without the family member most leaned on to approach potential spouses. His two sisters live in London, so Mr Haider had only his mother to help find a suitable match - a tricky situation in a largely conservative society.

What Mr Haider has been looking for is a woman with a good heart, cooking ability and respect for elders. Dozens of families across Pakistan responded to his televised call. He is now excitedly engaged in discussions with a family for a possible match.

'I was not expecting much,' Mr Haider says. 'But this show is a great thing designed to help people overcome problems to find happiness.'

Guests on the show are greeted by a man and woman team of hosts designed to reflect a respectable father and daughter relationship. To introduce each guest, producers run a   short video featuring the newcomer at work and play, and interviews with various family members about the searcher's best qualities.

In the case of a recent guest, computer technician Imran Sheikh, the video showed him eating with his family, working on his computer and watching TV. Hosts then ask guests follow-up questions and answer calls from viewers.

Interested families can e-mail or post messages to those who've appeared on the show, or call the production team directly to request direct contact. Thirteen shows into the initial run of 16, Marriage Online's production team has been flooded by phone calls and e-mails.

'Viewer response has been amazing. People sent messages just to congratulate us,' says Marriage Online's director, Shaqielle Khan.

'This demonstrates that our  planning was right on target. Our nation really is a sentimental bunch when it comes to love. And when done right, a show like this has mass appeal.'

From the 48 guests who have appeared so far, the show has produced three official engagements, and a dozen more guests are in discussions with the families of potential mates. Marriage Online is now one of the country's top five shows, and production has been extended for a second year.



Pakistan falls in love with matchmaking TV show