Q Should a child's appearance be a factor in an underage sex case?
Child sexual abuse is not caused by children, it is caused by perpetrators. As long as we continue to find excuses that validate the perpetrator's own distorted justifications, we are siding with those who choose to prey on the most vulnerable members of our society.
It seems that we would rather fulfil our need to believe that our children are safe by hanging on to our illusion that sexual abuse happens to children because of their behaviour or their appearance.
So the myth tells us, if we can pinpoint what it was in the abused child's behaviour, or appearance, that we can blame, then we don't have to worry about our own children because we can teach them to avoid this or that. The reality is that the majority of predators live unnoticed in our homes and in our communities. They are known to us and to our children. They are trusted by us and our children.
Our primary defence is to educate ourselves about the modus operandi of perpetrators who prey on children. Perpetrators' tactics have been well-documented for many years now.
Child sexual abuse will continue until we, as adults, accept that it is our responsibility to keep our community safe for our children. And when we fail, we all need to take responsibility. It is not the child's fault.