The only aspect of Saturday-evening dinner parties in Hong Kong I dislike is that I always miss at least the first half of Cable TV's English soccer match of the day. Admittedly this phenomenon lasts from August to May only, but with months to go the prospects are grim.
A few of my like-minded pals and I have tentatively raised this concern with our socially minded, dinner party-loving wives, only for it to fall on deaf ears. I recently tried another tactic to limit the number of missed goals and began to complain about the wine service at some less vinously inspired gatherings.
My first gripe is about taking a great bottle of wine along to share on the night, only to have it whisked away to a cupboard while the host proudly pours his carefully chosen drop. Other pet hates include champagne with bobbing strawberries, coloured wineglasses, smokers in the same room and water jugs garnished with lemon slices.
Dinner parties at our place are a much safer bet now I believe I have learned the rules of engagement. Any guest bringing chilled champagne or white wine expects it to be opened immediately. Red wine placed on the dining table is for meant for tonight's consumption. Gift boxes and wines slyly placed behind the microwave oven indicate great generosity or embarrassment at trying to off-load cheap wine on a supposed friend.
Seating plans at our table used to take into account talkers, listeners and gender. No longer. Serious winos sit near me and within easy reach of the previously decanted 'good stuff'. Anyone wearing aftershave or strong perfume is invited to grace the head of the other end of the table. Serious quaffers adjoin them and standard quaffers fill the middle ground. Serious quaffers may be differentiated by their willingness to drink cask or strawberry wine. This usually happens at about 2am when everything else I will admit to owning has been consumed.
The knack with standard quaffers is to ensure full bottles of wine are placed easily within their reach. If any glasses become empty, eager eyes have been known to stray towards my decanter. Avoiding this does require me frequently to stand up and offer top-ups but this slight inconvenience is well worth the effort. The sight of some less than appreciative guest pouring themselves an almost overflowing glass of my treasured good stuff is heartbreaking.