THE people of France and the United States enjoy what must be one of the more perfectly balanced love-hate relationships in the world. Even as they lob insults across the Atlantic and tell ethnic jokes at home, Americans and French eagerly gobble up greatchunks of each other's cultures.
It's like going to a restaurant where one detests the decor and atmosphere but loves the food. Or vice versa.
Americans are infatuated with all manner of things French. We love the fineries which France is famous for, from champagne and foie gras, to perfumes and haute couture. And we are seduced by what we find lacking in our own backyard, the dense foliage ofancient history, the self-assurance that comes with deep class identity. The bubbles go to our head.
At home, we pick French-sounding words for businesses that have nothing to do with France - ''Chez California Inc,'' ''Le Shoe Store'' - and name Mid-Western towns hungry for a touch of class after European capitals, especially Paris.
BUT many Americans are Francophiles only from a distance. A Frenchman in New York speaking English with a pea-soup accent is charming. That same Frenchman in Paris shrugging and pursing his lips with indifference when asked, in broken French, how to get to the Eiffel Tower, is a pain in the derriere.
Indeed, if Americans harbour two stereotypes about the French, especially Parisians, one is that they are rude to strangers, especially from the US. The other is that they are great lovers. Americans who have never set foot on French soil are adamant onthis point. What's worse, so are Americans who have. There is an element of misunderstanding in this accusation, but also an element of truth.
During a recent trip to Paris, my first in nearly a decade, I was reminded that many Parisians are blessed with a manner that my compatriots find aloof and off-putting. They do not exclaim with joy upon meeting an American, as do people in some other countries. Nor are they particularly inclined to learn foreign languages, or help struggling tourists picking their way through a phrase book.