AN INTERNET-FUELLED sexual revolution is sweeping China. After some 30 years of repression, the anonymity of the internet is opening up new avenues for people to explore their sexuality. And it's getting awfully hot and steamy out there. A survey carried out late last year by Netease, one of China's largest web portals, found that more than 30 per cent of respondents who admitted having had one-night stands arranged them online. This followed an unusually frank report on the front page of the official People's Daily newspaper last June about sexual attitudes and practices in China. One point was clear: the internet has radically changed how people perceive, and have, sex. Adult dating sites such as Asia Friend Finder (AFF) and sex-oriented chat rooms are allowing Chinese to search for love - or just sex - from the relative safety and anonymity of their homes, without the awkwardness of meeting people in bars, and far from the watchful eyes of friends, families and co-workers. When Lili Tang (not her real name) moved to Shanghai from neighbouring Jiangsu in 2002 to work as a middle-school teacher, she soon found herself lonely and bored. Despite her best efforts, Tang says she had trouble making new friends. She yearned for excitement and intimacy - but was concerned by what her friends and co-workers might say. 'Maybe it's because I was born into a traditional family,' she says. 'But I worry about what others think. Sometimes, I like to be a little wild - and I prefer to find a guy who's removed from my 'real' life.' Navigating her way through the sexual cyberworld, Tang quickly found more friends then she dreamed were possible - and soon ranked as one of AFF's 10 most popular girls. Mobile populations and big cities are a major reason for the booming popularity of internet dating, says Hong Kong-based culture critic and mainland newspaper writer Bono Lee Chiu-hing. 'As they leave their home towns, they have no friends and feel bored,' says Lee. 'It's difficult in a big city. So, they go to the internet to build a community, find companions and partners. 'The internet is the fastest and most efficient way to find a companion,' he says. 'It becomes 'home'.' Sexuality in China has gone through cycles of openness, followed by periods of repression. In the past, the periods of openness were enjoyed mostly by the educated and cultured classes. Now, with the accessibility, cheapness and prevalence of the internet, promiscuity and casual sex are available to everyone. Roger (who preferred that his surname not be published) relocated from Australia to Shanghai last spring, and says he met more than a dozen girls in his first month, thanks to the internet. It helps cut to the chase, he says. 'It's rare to meet a stranger in a cafe and, with no alcohol involved, be having sex a few hours later, especially in China,' he says. 'With the internet, it happens. Some guys spend a fortune trying to meet girls in bars. I rarely have to buy drinks for girls I don't know.' Lee says the internet allows people to skip the conventional dating process, and establish intimate relationship quickly. 'People don't need to talk face to face,' he says - which makes it easier for many. The likelihood of internet dating leading quickly to casual sex also may reflect the natures of the people who use it. The curiosity that draws them to log on and explore may indicate more experimental aspects of their characters. When freelance writer David Pandt first decided to move to Shanghai, he used AFF as a way to meet people and learn about life in China. Four years later, he still praises the site. 'The girl's I've met online are the most interesting ones by far,' he says. 'They're usually more open-minded, adventurous, and risk-taking.' Pandt says the net empowers women - especially in China, where it's still considered improper for a girl to initiate a relationship. 'They can be however they want to be: blunt, flirtatious, coy,' he says. 'It gives them a way to explore their sexuality without all the baggage of being a traditional Chinese girl. We often sell women short thinking there isn't a part of them that just wants sex. Anyone who doesn't think there's a sexual revolution going on among Chinese women in the big cities should have their head examined.' AFF staffer Ting Ting says the adult dating site is particularly good for divorcees and middle-aged women. 'Men often shy away from those who've already been in serious relationships,' she says. 'It can be daunting for a divorcee to return to the dating world. Our site gives them a fast and easy way to meet people.' However, Ting Ting is quick to point out the baser aspects of online dating. She attributes the many failed relationships she's seen during her 18 months with AFF to passport-hunting and gold-digging by women, and men using girls for sex. Pandt agrees that 'a lot of guys are golden-mouthed until they get what they want. Then they split.' Similarly, it's not uncommon for women's profiles to contain phrases such as 'westerners and foreign passport holders only'. Ting Ting chafes at what she considers the misguided demands of women. 'Why should girls only look for westerners? I believe I can find a Chinese guy with more money, who will take better care of me.' Although opinions vary about the merits of online dating, one thing that's not in dispute is the speed of the internet. Through e-mail, instant messaging and text messaging, sex can be arranged without people having met or even spoken to each other. With a click of a mouse, a relationship can begin - and a deleted mobile number may be enough to end it. The middle part of a relationship, when people spend time getting to know each other, is often abandoned entirely. It may sound impersonal and cold, but relationships have been moving in this direction for decades. Those wanting to preserve China's traditional modesty have a momentous task ahead. The speed of the internet both mirrors and drives changes occurring in every other sector of life. Expect to see more and more people logging on to the players' club. Additional reporting by Sherry Lee
