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Dino Mahoney

Tonight on RTHK Radio 4 you can hear the third part of a nine-part Songbirds drama serial called The Joker.

In last week's episode, Roko's practical jokes moved from his home to his school, where he planted a stick of fake  chalk by the blackboard.

During a geography lesson on volcanoes, Mr Chan used the chalk and it exploded! Mr Chan was not amused. Will Roko be in big trouble or will he somehow manage to escape being found out?

Below is the first part of tonight's Songbirds drama episode:

(SFX: A loud explosion.)

Billy: I don't believe it! Mr Chan's chalk has blown up!

Mr Chan: Is this someone's idea of a joke? Well?

Girl: Excuse me, sir.

Mr Chan: Did you do it, Wendy?

Girl: No, sir. I just wanted to say that your tie is burning, sir.

Mr Chan: Good heavens!

(SFX: Mr Chan slapping his tie)

Mr Chan: Thank you, Wendy. Very well, I take it that this is some sort of practical joke, and I take it that it was a boy who did it.

Billy: That's not fair. Why do boys always get the blame?

Mr Chan: It may not be fair, Billy Lee, but it's the truth. Now all girls leave the class ... boys, stay behind.

(SFX: Girls leaving the classroom)

Roko: (Whispering) Hey, Billy, say YOU did it.

Billy: (Whispering) Was it you?

Roko: If he finds out it was me, I'll get expelled.

Billy: I don't want to get expelled either.

Roko: You won't ... you'll only get a warning. After I let those stink bombs off in assembly, the headmaster told me I'd get thrown out of school if I did anything else.

Billy: So why did you plant the exploding chalk?

Roko: I'll tell you later ... Now be quiet, Mr Chan's looking ... just say YOU did it.

Mr Chan: Very well, the girls have gone, leaving just the boys, one of whom is the jackass who planted this stick of exploding chalk. Now which one of you was it?

Roko: (Whispering) Tell him, Billy, go on, tell him.

Mr Chan: Well, if the coward who did this is not prepared to own up ... then you'll all have to come back at four o'clock and sit here till the person responsible comes clean. (Silence) Well?

Billy: Excuse me, sir.

Mr Chan: Yes.

Billy: I'm very sorry, sir, but, well, I bought that chalk at a joke shop and I accidentally left it by the blackboard. I didn't mean for you to pick it up and use it sir ... that was a mistake.

Mr Chan: A mistake. I see. So Billy Lee, you expect me to believe that you accidentally left a stick of exploding chalk by the blackboard ... and where was the regular chalk, I wonder? What happened to that? Or perhaps you accidentally took all the regular chalk away, making sure that I'd be forced to pick up the stick of exploding chalk!

Billy: No, sir, it wasn't like that.

Mr Chan: Do you realise you have just set a teacher on fire, Billy Lee?

Billy: I didn't mean to, sir. I'm sorry about your tie ... I'll buy you a new one.

Mr Chan: And what do you think I should do now, Billy Lee? Accept your kind offer of a new tie and forget about the whole thing?

Billy: Well, it would be nice if you could, sir.

Mr Chan: Much as I'd like to, Billy, I'm afraid that won't be possible. You see, in all my years of teaching, no one has ever tried to blow me up and I feel somewhat offended.

Billy: I wasn't trying to blow you up, sir.

Mr Chan: Thank you for those words of reassurance, Billy, I shall treasure them and, in the meantime, would you kindly accompany me to the headmaster's office.

Billy: Do I have to, sir?

Mr Chan: Yes, Billy, I'm afraid you do. What you have just done amounts to little less than an act of terrorism ... classroom terrorism!

Now listen to the rest of the episode and see if you can answer these two questions:

1. Roko plays another practical joke on his sister using a ...?

a) cigarette lighter

b) cockroach

c) brick

d) tube of super-glue

2. Which is the correct end to this joke that Roko tells?

What is a snake's favourite subject at school?

a) Biology

b) History

c) Maths

d) English

You can find the full texts of all past Songbirds drama episodes and recordings  by visiting the RTHK website at www.rthk.org.hk - once there, click on Radio 4 and then on Songbirds.

Answers:

1 d, 2 b (a snake hisses,  it likes hissstory)



No joke in taking the blame