'HELLO, HELLO? Do you like snog?' asks the stranger on the ride out of Hong Kong. Although his eyes are eager, the toothy grin belies a master in the art of seduction.
'Um, sometimes with girls,' comes the stumbling reply.
'My name's Stephen. I very like snog. You and me play snog together. OK?'
At our destination, Stephen leads the way to his favourite 'snog' hall - an underground vice den that contains nothing more threatening than green baize and blue chalk.
There are three important facts to know about Zhaoqing city, 240km northwest of Hong Kong. First, people are very friendly. Second, English is not widely - or well - spoken. And third, British minority sports - mainly snooker - are all the rage.
Zhaoqing is a small city sandwiched between the river and mountain range. It's only a four-hour ferry ride from Hong Kong, but feels half a world away. The number of high-rises can be counted on one hand, and farmers sell their home-grown greens from pavement patches. Sit-down toilets are virtually unheard of in the hundreds of eateries, and peasants cycle the streets in blue overalls.