Nicole Pun Ho-yan says she has started to understand what happened on June 4 in Tiananmen Square 15 years ago. Despite this, she will not be attending tonight's candle-light vigil in Victoria Park. Nicole will celebrate her 15th birthday tomorrow - a date etched indelibly on the mind of her mother, Ngan Mei-ling - for two reasons. The day before, Ms Ngan watched agonising images of tanks moving towards the square on television in a Hong Kong hospital just hours before she gave birth. 'The hospital was shrouded in melancholy. Everybody was so sad. I didn't want to give birth to her, as I didn't see the future,' she recalls. From the time Nicole was just a year old, Ms Ngan brought her to the annual vigil and explained the incident to her until the time when she started to say 'no'. 'I don't quite remember the exact time, perhaps it's when she was in Primary Five to Six, when she had developed her own way of thinking and had her own life,' Ms Ngan says. 'She has many activities and may not want to attend the vigil.' Asked why she no longer attends the vigil, the Form Three student says: 'I'm very busy with my school work ... the annual vigil is close to exam days.' Her birthday is inescapably linked to the June 4 crackdown. 'Some of my relatives even joked that I carried the spirit of those who died on the square,' she says. 'It just happens that I was born a day after the incident.' She has few memories of the candle-light vigils but she can recall the one in 1996. That year activist David Chan Yuk-cheung drowned when he attempted to land on the disputed Diaoyu Islands. 'His family, wife and son came out to cry for him. People on the stage chanted slogans, while those sitting on the ground echoed them,' she says. As time passes, Nicole says she is beginning to understand more about the June 4 crackdown through television news reports, newspapers and school textbooks. 'The students were fighting for democracy ... I think the central government overreacted by sending in troops and tanks,' she says. She feels the annual vigil should continue. 'It's meaningful. Over 200 people died [in the crackdown] ... besides mourning, people should look back to learn from the past.' Her mother hopes her daughter will treasure her life and be a happy person with a sense of righteousness. 'I tried my best to teach her when she was very young, but I don't know how much she understands,' she says.