Where? On an organic coffee and spice plantation in Kerala, India.
Sounds rather right on: Yes, but in a good way. The former location of the summer palace of the maharajas of Travancore, Paradisa is on the rise to the mellow Cardamom Hills and has lifestyle karma in spades.
Tell us more: Lit by antique lanterns, this retreat reflects the unhurried, lush India of Kerala. It's popular with yoga fans and those seeking AAA (ayurveda, astrology and acupuncture).
So, we're hitting the hippie trail? Not at all. A million miles from the sleeping-bag scene, the villas at Paradisa comprises traditional wooden Keralan houses (right), designed with privacy in mind.
That's a relief. Even better, the rooms are as clean as new pins, with polished tiled floors, ice-white bed covers, the odd splash of ethnic colour and wraparound views. Guests with a head for heights can kip in the Arayan Tree House, built by local tribespeople.
Talk us through those triple-A options: Energy-enhancing massages are available from the Sahyadri Ayurveda Hospital, 6km away. Astrology and acupuncture are available at the hotel.