Foreigners who travel around China invariably experience moments when they wonder if they have stepped through the looking glass. Mine came on Monday at the opening ceremony of the 'Speak Shenzhen' campaign, an initiative aimed at teaching a million of Hong Kong's neighbours to get their tongues around English.
It began soberly enough. Long Yongtu, head of the Boao Forum for Asia, told a packed auditorium at the Shenzhen Press Group's headquarters that his English skills helped China win WTO entry in 2001. The key message of the next two hours was thus established: globalisation is a reality, China is stronger for being engaged as a competitor, and English is the key tool needed to triumph. SO LEARN ENGLISH AND MAKE YOUR COUNTRY STRONG.
I use capital letters here because this was when the volume was cranked up on the proceedings. The Speak Shenzhen drive hit the road quite literally, as taxi drivers came on stage to show the way. With a ONE, TWO, THREE, GO! they began bellowing their message in unison like warriors arrayed in the Forbidden City: 'WELCOME TO SHENZHEN! WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO?'
These fine upstanding men were followed by - who else? - the city government's tax bureau, thanking their dear taxpayers for helping them create a brighter future for a stronger nation. Nurses were next, explaining with a screech that their job was to SAFEGUARD YOUR LIVES. I could just imagine a foreigner being wheeled in for heart surgery getting this kind of a welcome.
The Shenzhen Daily staff were my personal favourites, as they proudly reminded us that their job is to uphold social and moral values. SO LET'S SPEAK ENGLISH TOGETHER and uphold those values.
I only started looking in earnest for the white rabbit, however, with the arrival of Li Yang. The founder of the Crazy English chain of schools, who is as close to a televangelist as you are likely to see in China, had the crowd whipped into a frenzy within minutes. Chants of 'HOW ARE YOU?' were soon lifting the roof.
