If there is one thing that could turn me from a mild-mannered, law-abiding citizen to a crazed urban guerilla, it is four-wheel-drive vehicles. Here in Australia, they are everywhere: not where they should be, in the bush, hauling logs and pulling cows out of bogs, but crowding the streets of cities and suburbs.
In Sydney, they are known as Balmain bulldozers, after one of the city's most upmarket suburbs, while in Melbourne they are called Toorak tractors, after a similarly posh district. I prefer to think of them as greedy gas-guzzling monsters. The politer term is sports utility vehicle.
As someone who gets around by bicycle, my attitude towards SUVs ranges from annoyance to terror. I am not alone. Former prime minister Paul Keating called them 'a pox on society'. Unfortunately, they are more popular than ever; the fastest-growing sector of the Australian vehicle market. Over the past 10 years, sales have leaped by more than 200 per cent. They now make up about one in five of all new passenger vehicle sales.
Part of their popularity lies in the fact that they attract a smaller import tax than other cars, making them a relatively good buy. (The concession was initially intended to make sturdy off-road vehicles more affordable for farmers).
But it is not price alone which explains the vehicles' popularity. Owning an SUV sends a message to the world: I am adventurous, rugged and perhaps a little bit dangerous, ready to drive up mountains and ford rivers at a moment's notice.
The problem is that hardly any of them ever go off road. They are more likely to be used by well-heeled mothers to pick up the children from school, do the shopping, and intimidate cyclists like me. Statistics from the Accident Research Centre suggest that as few as one in 10 ever gets its wheels muddy.