ideas and ideologies
ONCE upon a time in far off China someone said: 'I've got an idea!'What is an 'idea'? said someone else.An idea, said the first man, is a thought that no one has ever had before.
Like what?Like making gunpowder and silk. Someone in China discovered them centuries ago.What else? Some philosophical thought, the compass. People in ancient China used to have new ideas all the time.So what's your new idea?Communism.Is that new?Sure. If you don't count the Soviet Union.Is it a good idea?Absolutely. Everyone will be equal and live in harmony.What's the down side? There is no down side. Everyone will get an iron rice bowl, a blue cap with a nice red star on it and the down-payment on a half-tonne bicycle.About 20 years later:Whew! Boy! We've been walking for damn near a year. That was a long march! What a great idea!Uh?!Now it is your turn. Now you have just had an idea.Really? Sure. We have been chased around the country by Chiang Kai-shek's mob for 12 months, but until now we never had a name for it. Now we do: The Long March.Twenty-three years on:Listen, I think I've got another idea.Come on, Mao. You're kidding.It's called .. . wait for it . . . The Great Leap Forward. What do you think of that?Terrific. Sounds even better than the The Lengthy April.Long March !!OK, what will this Great Leap Forward achieve?It should shatter the entire economy; create food shortages, depression and discontent on a scale never seen in our long and glorious history.
Eight years later:Hey, I think I've just had . . .Not another idea?Yup. Now that the masses are starving and on their knees, we will offer them the opportunity to create a whole revolutionary national culture.What will you call it, Chairman Mao?How does The Cultural Revolution sound?Not bad. What will it do? Hell, create excitement, national fervour. And if we're lucky, eliminate about 20 million hungry mouths.A few years on:Mr Deng, what now that my old friend Mao has gone to the Great Hall of the People in the sky?We will now plan Liberal Reforms and a Market Economy. It will produce vast foreign investment. Instead of huge amounts being creamed off by Beijing officials alone, we will liberally distribute the money around the country.
Is that what they call the Trickle Down Effect?Good grief no! That would mean sharing it with about a billion peasants.Is that a new idea?Yes. Well, sort of. I have taken the capitalistic model of the West and combined it with ancient Chinese traditions.What will that produce? My vision is 100,000 Rolls-Royces in the key eastern cities, rampant inflation, a prosperous Hong Kong where officials' gains can be ploughed into property and, of course, ultimately chaos.Much later still:I have got an idea!Really Mr Deng? A cure for cancer, an AIDS vaccine, a pollution-free car?We will announce the release of a political dissident.Why? Because it is a great idea. It might convince the naive International Olympic Committee that Our Great Civilisation should host the prestigious games in the year 2000.Will it work?Gee, I hope not. Then we can accuse the international community of punishing us unfairly. Then we can go back to doing whatever we want. No more human rights commissions, calls for the stopping of environmental abuses, the MFN conversation and corruption. What a great idea!