IT'S SUPPOSED to be almost impossible to fall off a Segway. OK, so George W. Bush famously tumbled off one in Texas last year. But for everyone else, the Segway is supposed to be virtually foolproof. The newfangled 'human transporter' may look like an electric chariot or a jumped-up pogo stick on wheels, but its state-of-the-art gyroscopes, tilt sensors, high-speed microprocessors and powerful electric motors are engineered to keep the user upright and balanced.
Still, Americans are a litigious lot, and since they form the bulk of the customers of City Segway Tours - the Paris-based operator that offers guided Segway expeditions in Paris (and now Nice, New Orleans and Chicago) - the company's Texan owners are taking no chances. Before I can even strap on my safety helmet (yes, we all have to wear one), I have to sign a Euro400 (HK$3,800) damage waiver, as well as a document certifying that I'm in 'sound medical condition capable of participating in the ride without risk to others or to myself'.
'Some people can be very irresponsible on their Segways,' says City Segway Tours co-owner, Kelly Mebane, when I ask whether all those precautions might not be a little over the top. 'But we haven't had any serious injuries - just a few cuts and scrapes.'
Once the paperwork is complete, the groundwork begins. All users have to undergo a half-hour orientation before they can roll into the notoriously hazardous traffic of Paris. In a pedestrian-free, concrete courtyard behind the tour operator's office, we're drilled on the basics: how to turn on the Segway, how to get on and off (if the machine isn't in its correct, upright position, it 'growls' cantankerously when you step on it), how to move forwards and backwards, stop and turn, and finally, how to negotiate those inconvenient gutters.
Joining me on the night tour of the City of Light are five other adventurers: Karol, an airline pilot on a 48-hour stopover, Dan and Lori, a couple celebrating their eighth wedding anniversary, and Lori's mother and sister. Except for me, everyone's American, including our instructor and tour guide, Aaron Rodgers, a 24-year-old brimming with chummy, slap-on-the-back enthusiasm. 'All right, guys,' he calls out cheerfully. 'Let's go over the moves one last time: lean forward to go forward, lean back to go backward, straighten up to stop, and if you want to stop suddenly? Stick out your butt! That's your emergency brake.'
Several minutes later, barring a few wobbly starts, we begin to feel more at ease. Like a motorised mimic, the Segway responds to my body's slightest shift with graceful and uncanny intuition. Soon, I have only to think about moving forward to make it advance. I wonder how Bush could have fallen off.