Massage your way to big breasts in 10 sessions

Like many an artiste before her, 1990s starlet Sharla Cheung Mun recently resurfaced to appear in slimming ads. This full-page newspaper advert comes with a complete anatomical breakdown of how much her different body parts have shrunk after being treated by 'Precision Fat Trasher', known as PFT for short.

Sponsor Modern Beauty Salon is coy about what exactly this intriguing PFT does, except to say it is based on the latest technology imported from Europe. LoDown is happy to report that this space-age sounding contraption has not affected Cheung's delicious bosom, which has remained unshrunk. The ad says so in BOLD.

Meanwhile, we notice low-tech also has its appeal in the local beauty industry. In another ad, IPL Medical Centre offers 'breast enlargement by hand - immediate cup size jump or your money back'. That's right, no surgery or drugs to swallow, a centre representative told a female Post colleague.

'But how is it done?' we asked.

'By hand - our therapist will massage your breasts for an hour and 15 minutes. We recommend 10 sessions, twice a week. But you will feel its effects by the end of the first session.'

'You mean squeezing them for 75 minutes? Wouldn't that hurt a lot?'