The element of surprise is still one of the best aphrodisiacs It used to be so simple. A wink or smile, a hand brushing the thigh ... and the sparks would fly as if on cue, resulting in a night of passion. A few years later and the sight of your partner in the buff does little to rock your boat. Sex just seems like far too much of an effort, what with work, kids and sleep deprivation. So what does one do when the very mention of sex conjures up images of deadlines and dirty laundry, rather than a steamy night in? The problem with Hong Kong isn't the pollution or the fact that we shop too much. It's a culmination of things. Ng Mun-lun of the University of Hong Kong's psychiatry department lists monotony, lack of motivation or skill to nurture a relationship, taking too much for granted, the tendency to exploit relationships for personal gain and bodily and mental changes due to ageing as some reasons why the fire fizzles out. Sexual boredom occurs in the best of relationships because we feel we've already 'been there'. Professor Ng says it is important to keep growing together in all aspects of the relationship, including personality, knowledge, appearance and sexual technique. The element of surprise is one of the best solutions. Catch your lover off guard, when they least expect to be confronted with one of their wildest fantasies. Of course, for this to work, both parties need to express what their ultimate fantasies entail. All too often, sexual reticence can be attributed to a lack of confidence. Spend time caressing each other and making one another feel irresistible. Contrary to what the magazines say, women aren't unpredictable - since when did dinner at a romantic restaurant ever lose its powers of seduction? And never underestimate simple gestures, like sending suggestive text messages. Routine makes for comfort, and where the bedroom is concerned, 'comfort' can mean only one thing: boredom. Ask yourselves: what is something we have both never tried but would be keen to? Most importantly, speak openly about your desires and expectations - you might not be the only one in the relationship craving a change. MODELS: Sunny Tsang and Melanie CLOTHES: Shanghai Tang, Jilian Lingerie, Calvin Klein HAIR: Mona Lisa at The HairdressersM AKEUP: Julie Hui of L'Oreal
