The day after the Canadian Parliament committed the government to banning trans fats, I put the question to 20 of the best and brightest people on the west coast: 'What are trans fats, anyway?' If anybody knows, they should. They are students at the University of British Columbia's Journalism School. They read a lot, study hard, eat well, take care of their health and are the opinion-shapers of tomorrow. But my question stumped them. Most shook their heads. Three tentative hands went up. These smart people did not know a trans fat from a sugar-glazed doughnut. 'So what will they replace those fats with when they're gone?' one of the students asked. 'Conjugated linoleic acid,' I replied. It is found in butter. The students did not know that, either. So what makes Canada's members of parliament so smart? Whatever it is, last week they voted 193 to 73 in favour of laws that will eliminate trans fats from the Canadian diet within a year. And that will make Canada only the second country in the world, after Denmark, to outlaw the fats, which have been linked to heart disease. However, we will still be able to eat all the maple doughnuts we want (followed by a cigarette and a glass of scotch). Opposition critic Stockwell Day pointed out the hypocrisy of most of the MPs: 'I watch them at coffee breaks, inhaling cookies and doughnuts faster than anyone.' I did some research. Trans fats are made by 'hydrogenation'; forcing hydrogen gas into vegetable oil to make it solid. And that creates special fat that produces 'bad' cholesterol. Eat enough crisps and crackers, some scientists say, and your arteries will clog, your brain will shrink and you will start to forget things. Pig farmers reacted to the news quickly. Their website, ThePigSite.com, praises the nutritional value of animal fats. The snack industry has brought out trans-fat-free cookies and crisps. This is the free market at work. The American and British governments require all food manufacturers to clearly label their products. So, if you want to risk your arteries, you can. But Canada, which has perhaps the highest per capita doughnut consumption in the universe, has decided to take a much harder line. There may yet be a strong reaction from the religious lobby. Last week, somebody paid US$28,000 for a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich that purportedly has the face of the Blessed Virgin Mary on it. The owner says the sandwich was fried in margarine, which, thanks to the trans fatty acid content, helped preserve the bread (and the image). The Canadian government might want to reconsider.