Many of you reading this will look back on 2004 with satisfaction, and forward to 2005 with optimism. The end of a year, however, is also a time tinged with sorrow and loss - even disappointment, regret or anger - and a bit of guilt, precisely because one feels one ought to be thankful and jolly. But then, that is part of the point of marking the passage of time, a universal human tradition. Celebrating a point in the flow from the past to the future is simply a way to recognise change, which is inevitable, but which we do not register in all its significance in the rush of our day to day lives. The most commonly sanctified time-related events are those associated with biological changes such as puberty or childbirth, or linked to social transition points, such as when a person reaches the legal age to work, vote, marry or retire. Each stage has its challenges, but some turning points are incontestably tougher than others. Puberty involves the loss of childhood. But the security and comfort of the formative years are quickly forgotten in the thrill of exploring the wide-open horizons of young adulthood. Instead, childhood delights (and horrors) are typically revisited at parallel moments throughout the lifespan, such as when one's first child comes along. As the years roll on, one is faced with the psychological task of reconciling the inevitable shortfalls between what is and what could be and, increasingly, what is and what could have been. Even the most successful choices come at a cost that one can only really guess at. Birthdays are another way we stop to take note of where things stand on a personal level. Unlike the collective stocktaking of New Year, birthdays focus the attention of many on the individual. They are a way for the group to buoy a person up; a means of confirming who he or she is in the eyes of others and how he or she fits into the group. In more individualist cultures, it gives the birthday boy or girl an occasion to reconsider how well those expectations fit with his or her personal agenda. A birthday, in other words, is an opportunity for everyone to focus for a moment on a person's identity, his or her roles, their significance and how these have and will change over the course of his or her life. This obviously involves joy, pride and excitement. But, again, there will also be some traces of regret and avoidable and unavoidable deficits. All change contains some variety of these negative elements, even though we sometimes prefer to deny them, or delay experiencing them in their full force. Birthdays, like all customary time indicators, are traditional wisdom's way to remind us that it is generally better to pause and digest the ups and downs of life as we go along. The turning of the calendar year is a collective celebration of change, one of the few near-global commemorations. So there is every reason to feel reassured and supported by the knowledge that one's fate is so widely shared. Granted, the thought of sharing one's future with terrorists, exploiters of children and destroyers of the environment is not a comforting one. But, at a moment when Asia is suffering its worst human tragedy in living memory, one cannot help but be heartened by the unprecedented outpouring of international aid and support for the victims and survivors. Global solidarity: what better beginning to a new year? Jean Nicol is a psychologist specialising in issues of cultural identity and change in an era of globalisation everydaypsychologist@yahoo.com