WHETHER YOU are an executive making critical investment decisions, a graduate looking for a good career opportunity, or a student cramming for exams, stress is something you will have learned to accept as an unavoidable part of everyday life. For the sake of your long-term mental health, however, it is important to understand stress, why it occurs and what can be done to limit any adverse effects. Wong Chung-kwong has more than 30 years' experience in psychiatry, having been both a practising psychiatrist and a teacher on the subject at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. He is also the chairman of the Whole Person Development Institute. Specialising in the study of stress, he has developed the ICAN model on how to understand and deal with stress. Importantly, he is working to overcome four common misconceptions about the subject. 'These misconceptions are potentially damaging and need to be well understood by people before they can start to cope with their own situations properly,' said Dr Wong. The first involves recognising what a person means when they say they 'are' stressed. According to Dr Wong, the usual answer is that if individuals have a problem with something, they believe this equals stress and describe themselves as stressed. More correctly, he said, this is a 'stressor', an encountered life event which is a source of stress and causes the feeling of pressure. The second occurs when someone says they 'feel' stressed. When asked to explain further, they will probably mention anxiety, insomnia, poor concentration, or even physical symptoms such as heart palpitations. 'This is not stress itself, but simply a response to it,' said Dr Wong. The third misconception is when people believe they are stressed because of what has happened to them. They then think they cannot cope because they feel stressed - a kind of mental trap. There appears to be a strong connection between the stressor and the response, but this is not so. 'In these cases, it is necessary to take a constructive approach which becomes an interactive, dynamic psychological process,' said Dr Wong. He uses the image of a set of scales, with the stressor on one side and coping on the other, to illustrate the point. If the stressor outweighs the ability to cope then stress exists, but if not, a person will suffer no ill effects regardless of what is happening in their lives. The key, therefore, is to understand coping and how to achieve it. This begins with not using the term 'stress management' - the fourth misconception. Dr Wong said this should be replaced by 'life management', emphasising that understanding one's self and one's response to events leads to a greater ability to cope. Feelings of stress often result from believing a situation is beyond one's control, but these can be conquered by understanding four interrelated functions - emotion, perception, self-value and behaviour. 'It is important to focus on what you can do, not the past event,' said Dr Wong. The solution lies in beginning to focus on the four functions, creating a positive spiral and accepting that a change of perception makes all the difference. Emotion - you may feel sad, depressed, ashamed or anxious, but it is important to face up to your feelings. Become emotionally aware and discuss what you feel with friends, family or a counsellor. By talking, people have the opportunity to vent emotions. As the saying goes, there is nothing like a good cry. Perception - the more threatened you feel, the more anxious you will become. The trick here is to understand the importance of looking at a situation from a different perspective. Taking an alternative viewpoint helps to lighten the emotions and increases the ability to cope by exploring other measures which may improve the overall situation. Self-value - your self-esteem normally suffers when you feel stressed, so remind yourself what you are good at and what you have achieved. This will help to restore your confidence. Behaviour - changes usually come about over time rather than in the short term. Better self-management will result from learning about the other three functions and putting them into practice. Since all four factors are closely interconnected, they can feed off each other in a negative as well as a positive way. To cope successfully with stress requires getting the right start, after which proper self-management will make things gradually more straightforward. When this sort of positive outlook, which Dr Wong refers to as ICAN, is able to prevail, life events are seen as challenges to be overcome rather than things to fear. 'It is also important to disconnect performance from self-esteem, and to remember that nothing external should dictate how you look at yourself,' he said. 'Your self-value is intrinsic and must be viewed with real conviction.' what to do Increase awareness that challenges must be met and there are tools to deal with them competently. Change perceptions so that events don't seem overwhelming and self-esteem is not connected with external success. Create a balanced life with time for personal interests, work and family/friends, which will result in a greater sense of harmony. Exercise - most students don't exercise enough, yet it is essential to feel good physically as this can help you cope with life's challenges. Family and friends are vital for well-being, and are an important source of emotional and psychological support. ICAN Model Insight Understand yourself thoroughly Be responsible for understanding any failure, such as in exams Don't avoid the reasons or blame others Face the facts - perhaps more study was needed Confirmation Of your sense of worth Of areas of weakness that can be improved Of your strengths and talents Remember to see external factors of 'stress' as challenges Ability Continue to learn about yourself Find out how to deal with different situations Understand what helps you and which areas need more attention Nurturing yourself is an everlasting process of growth Other points This is a solid model and will give tangible results Understanding the four functions and applying the ICAN model will lead to greater success Good self-management and consistent values will result in harmony and happiness The ICAN model is based on a more complicated, successful psychotherapy model used to treat patients