Friendships take a real battering around this time of year as we make choices for our school career paths and need to choose where we will carry on with our studies. Most upsetting is facing the prospect that girlfriends and boyfriends will be forced to split up as one of them is leaving for a new place overseas. Some of us get given the opportunity to board, go on exchanges or move to a new place and this creates problems for the people who aren't going with us. Even though you are experiencing the pains of separation, your friends can find it even harder to deal with because they aren't getting a change of scenery, or facing new challenges, but instead feel like they are being left behind. It may seem like you will never see each other again, and maybe if you do see each other that the relationship will have changed and it will never be as good as it is now. This is not the case if the bonds of friendship are strong. Like any relationship, if you work at it, you gain greater insight on what makes it good. The rest happens naturally. Preparing for university, I knew that I was being separated from my closest school friends who I depended on seeing every day. I hoped that wouldn't be the end of all those friendships. Though it would be a while before being reunited, we all reckoned that it would be just like we'd never left in the first place. We felt there was a core to this friendship and the key to it continuing was discovering what that core was. Appreciating what is special about your own friendships will help strengthen a bond that you never lose. Instead of feeling bad about the impending separation, talk it out and find the true value in your friendships. Even a simple statement like 'I will miss you' goes a long way and creates a memory to hang onto that isn't as easy to extinguish. Appreciating friendships is the key to ensuring their survival. David Simpson is an experienced youth counsellor and a regular SYP columnist
