Gas leaks
If there's one subject small children find fascinating, it's gas. But for those who have more than their fair share of it, it's far from funny. It can be a real pain.
Anyone who has scoffed a few too many grapes, dried fruit or bean salads will know what I mean. The bloated belly followed by knife-like twists in the gut when you least expect it, followed by about 12 hours of embarrassing 'escapes' is the hefty price you pay for that handful of apricots or beans.
In Asia, it's not just the beans and fruit that will make you ... well you know. A high proportion of the population suffers lactose intolerance and this, a problem that gets worse with age, means there's a whole spectrum of foods that make you not only uncomfortable but not all that nice to be near.
Lactose intolerance is caused by a lack of lactase, an enzyme needed to break down lactose, the sugar in milk and dairy products. Most people of European descent have adequate levels of lactase, but people from Asia and Africa have lower levels. Most people have some lactase. So as long as they don't eat large quantities of dairy products they won't suffer too much.
However, the problem gets worse with age, with Europeans being about the only people who can easily digest cheese and milk products as they get into adulthood and middle age.
However, that doesn't mean you have to give up dairy products. Most people still have some lactase - just not enough to deal with a large load of lactose. A little yogurt with your breakfast fruit or some Parmesan on your spaghetti might not cause any problems. But half a cheese pizza may have you rolling around clutching your belly all night.
One way to find out if dairy products are giving you trouble is to eliminate them from your diet for two or three weeks and see if this makes your symptoms disappear. Then, gradually reintroduce some dairy produce - maybe yogurt, some milk or whatever your usual dairy foods are. If the symptoms return, you should note how much and what type of dairy product brought on the problem.
At this point you have two choices. You can give up your dairy foods and get your calcium by eating leafy green vegetables or meat or taking calcium supplements. Or you can continue eating dairy products but take lactase - literally extra enzymes - in liquid or tablet form just before you eat that pizza, cream cake or whatever form of dairy food you love to eat.
If you've already dealt with the dairy food issue but still find yourself suffering from bloating, colicky pains and more wind, there are plenty of simple remedies worth trying. If you're a chronic gum chewer or chewer of anything else, try to stop. Gum chewing, in particular, introduces extra air into your gut, which either stays there as bloating - causing pain and that unpleasant feeling of fullness - or comes up as burps or finds its way down to the other end of the gut. And take your time chewing your meals - a good, long chew helps with digestion.
Undigested or poorly digested food stimulates gas production in the lower bowel. Rushing your meals also means your bowel won't relax and perform its functions properly, so once again you're heading for constipation, pain and flatulence if you don't give yourself those extra few minutes over breakfast.
Best of all, walk after eating because this makes digestion more efficient. Think of Jane Austen's stories. They were forever taking a 'constitutional' - to avoid social embarrassment later. It certainly brings new meaning to the phrase, 'Oh, Mr Darcy!'
