Internet dating can be a leap in the dark. Before she met me via datelessduds.com, my ex encountered a man who had stretched himself in an image manipulation program to make himself look taller.
A friend of mine met an obscure actress turned alcoholic who vomited while she was trying to chat to him on the phone. Then there was my own nightmare date with a depressed Unix programmer who stared into space for the entire course of the evening.
But at least soul-destroying online cold date experiences provide entertainment because, as Mel Brooks said: 'Tragedy is when I cut my finger; comedy is when you fall down an open manhole cover into an open sewer and die.'
The pitch on the agency's pink and puffy website reads: 'Having trouble finding Mr or Mrs Right? Always in debt? Massive overdraft? Welcome to Marry an Ugly Millionaire - the dating agency created for people like you. We provide a unique dating and marriage service. A service that you will not find elsewhere on the internet. For we are about to solve both your financial problems and your relationship problems with just a few clicks of the mouse!'
Hmm. For those readers over the age of six, the promise may sound too good to be true. Riches and love from one crummy website? That's about as plausible as the spam message I received this morning, which claims: 'Mr Villa has $913,659 waiting for you.'
I have yet to meet anyone who has made a microcent via any online venture. Also, even if there are ugly millionaires out there who are busting to marry, how would it feel to wake up next to someone best described by a word which, like 'fat', is taboo? He or she might be as gross as the smell that wafts from a rubbish bin on a hot day before you manage to slam the lid. And he or she might have a personality to match.