IF PROOF were needed that the Cathay Pacific Hong Kong Bank Invitation Sevens had entered the big league of sports events it came last week with a call from a business contact of this column. He had been telephoned by Fiona Holland, of International Events, asking if he was interested in a hospitality package for the Sevens on March 26 and 27. Normally priced at $260,000, she could offer it to him at a knock-down $180,000, since another firm had dropped out. For this price a client and guests are to be domiciled in a 'chalet-style' box on the roof of the South China Athletic Association (SCAA) opposite the stadium, where they would be offered food and drink, knowledgeable insights from 'rugby personalities' and, most importantly, a guarantee of tickets on the halfway line of the lower tier of the 40,000 seat venue. This is the sort of corporate hospitality package that in the United Kingdom has grown up around sports events like Ascot, Wimbledon and the rugby internationals at Twickenham. Companies organise a facility where food and drink and 'celebrities' are sold to corporations anxious to show their clients a good time. The discovery that one of these firms is trying to sell packages for an event generally means that event has reached world-class status. Unfortunately for International Events, part of the Hospitality Group, neither the Hong Kong Rugby Football Union (HKRFU), which owns the rights to the Sevens, or Wembley International, which won the Urban Council contract to run the stadium, were pleased to hear the news. The HKRFU's Dave Roberts said International Events had no connection with the union, while Wembley International managing director Robin Oram said all official hospitality packages had to come through the HKRFU to Wembley. There are also practical difficulties with International Event's package, because the view from the SCAA into the stadium is limited, and, as Mr Roberts pointed out, the Sevens is free-seating, meaning there is no such thing as a guaranteed seat. Ms Holland appeared to be surprised to hear of the view taken by Wembley and the HKRFU, saying: 'We have not talked to Wembley at all; we are competitors.' A somewhat irritable Alan Jenkins, the manager of International Events, rang us back after we had spoken to Ms Holland to add they had nothing to do with Wembley, and they had a long history of providing corporate entertainment and giving 'value for money'. Wembley and the HKRFU are said to be looking into the matter. AMBASSADOR'S LOT WATCHING TV news footage of Britain's Ambassador to Beijing, Sir Robin McLaren, last week, it was suddenly apparent how wretched this man's life must be. Sir Robin, an amiable enough fellow in spite of his Foreign Office training, has always been the nearest target for the insults and contempt hurled by Chinese officials against the United Kingdom. Like the man in Greek mythology who was destined to spend perpetuity chained to a hillside with an eagle eating his liver, Sir Robin is shackled to interminable rounds of Sino-British talks. Almost daily, in sunshine, rain or snow, Sir Robin awakes to find a horde of what seem to be adolescent girls clustered at his gates, clutching microphones and demanding sound-bites for their next news bulletin, and caring not a jot for the health of his first grandchild. After his daily interrogation, the saddest sight of all is Sir Robin walking from his residence with head bowed, as British government budget-cuts appear to have meant the axe for the ambassadorial limousine. SPIRIT OF ENTERPRISE MANY and varied are the ways of the world. Last week Dana Berg, an American living in Discovery Bay, rang this office asking to get in touch with Monique. For those who may not recall her, Monique is the leggy, blonde Californian call-girl profiled in thefirst issue of this magazine. She told readers how she earned $300,000 a month - $6,000 an hour - wore Chanel suits and thoughtfully accepted all major credit cards from her clients, albeit with an extra fee for American Express. But halfway through the article Monique revealed there was a flaw in her otherwise well-run and profitable life: she could not find fruit-flavoured condoms in Hong Kong, even with her encyclopaedic knowledge of matters sexual. However, one person's problem has always been another person's opportunity. Ms Berg is anxious to start an import/export business, and knows an agency in the United States which can arrange to have some fruit-flavoured condoms shipped over. Ms Berg would like to get in touch with Monique to discuss, as she put it, 'what she likes and what her demands would be', and this column would be delighted to to put these two enterprising ladies in touch with each other. CONTRACTORS BOMB OUT THE fighting associated with the capture of Hong Kong by the Japanese in 1941 and its liberation almost four years later was intense but short-lived. Nevertheless, the legacy of battle is still being uncovered almost weekly. Members of the police Bomb Disposal Unit were called out earlier this month to deal with a wartime shell discovered on the site where the Hong Kong Football Club stood in Sports Road, Happy Valley. Primed and filled with explosives, it was in as dangerous a condition as an unexploded bomb could be. The contractors casually informed the unit it had been uncovered three days earlier by workmen who helpfully decided to pick it up and move it to the side of the road for safety. The spot they chose was right by a road used by heavy vehicles whose vibrations alone could have set off the shell. To make sure everyone knew exactly what it was, some bright spark painted a red cross on the shell as it sat by the road, until someone else decided a call to the unit might be a sensible thing to do. STARTER'S ORDERS SINCE this magazine started, readers will have noticed how the format has changed by the week. This is not out of sheer cussedness, it is simply evolution. This diary, which replaces Post Script and The Way It Is, will combine many of the features of both of these popular items: critical observation, humour and the relaying of choice items of information that may have escaped the news pages. All delivered by a revolving team of columnists in what we hope is a mix of succinct, witty, waspish and pertinent package as an hors-d'oeuvres before you tackle the main course inside. Your news, tidbits, comments and criticisms are welcome. Bon appetit.