MOST readers would immediately rec ognise the rubicund features as belonging to part-time soccer legend and full-time wine merchant Walter Gerrard. But what on Earth is he up to? There are two versions to this tale. And for the sake of objective journalism (a cause dear to Keeping Posted) we will present the case for both the prosecution and the defence. So we have Scotsman Gerrard captured on camera in Statue Square at dawn after his 50th birthday party earlier this week. Having painted the town red, he was apparently crawling back to give it a second coating. And the bagpipers? They were on their usualway to Government House where early every morning, as is the custom, they play outside the Governor's bedroom window, providing a regal wake-up call. The second version argues that this was Gerrard limbering up at twilight in his role as a Highland athlete for the launching of the nearby Hilton's Scottish promotion, with the pipes and drums of the Black Watch providing an escort. Well, there you have it. But we know which scenario we prefer.