Ribs are vulgar. Ribs are crude. Ribs were invented in 22 million BC, before the advent of speech or table manners or lemon scented wet-wipes. So it was only appropriate that the final score of the Sunday Morning Post Magazine's Great Rib Round Up was: Vulgarians 1, Foody know-alls 0.
Or, to put it more precisely, out of a maximum 200 points, our panel of international food experts tasted each rib dish blind and awarded the following: Tony Roma's: 134 points, Casa Mexicana: 139, Dan Ryan's 143, LA Cafe 143, Maxim's 171.
Not since Adam and Eve has a rib caused such controversy. Not since Richard Burton bought Elizabeth Taylor an engagement ring has there been such conclusive proof that money does not necessarily buy good taste. At around $4 each, the Maxim's ribs are around a quarter of the price of any of the other contenders and are served with one tenth of the fuss.
Announcing the result to the teams of hyped-up cooks, restaurant managers and expectant PR experts who had gathered at the Marriott Hotel planning on glory, prestige and a photo-story in their company magazine, was like standing up at a wedding and announcing the death of the bride. It was the first time in my life I had seen so many PR people try to smile and fail.
No one even knew Maxim's had been included in the competition; not the other competitors, not the judges, not even Maxim's. I had simply picked up four slabs from the take-away at The Leighton Centre, Causeway Bay, on my way to the Marriott and included them in the tasting as a joke.
The other competitors had insisted on cooking their ribs right there at The Marriott's JW California Restaurant. They had demanded split-second timing and a list of judges. Maxim's on the other hand insisted only on receiving $12 per slab of ribs. They even threw in four paper towels and chopsticks.
When Maxim's public relations person was finally located, deep in the heart of one of Hong Kong's biggest food machines, the spokesman was a bit non-plussed: 'Can you send us a fax outlining our conversation and any subsequent questions you may have?' she said.
