'I see Big Ben striking midnight as I cross the river on my way home at night; I love the way its face is symmetrical at that hour. Big Ben is my watch as I don't wear one. It is also my alarm clock because I live close by, in Waterloo, and it wakes me up. I am usually up at 8am, although sometimes it is 9am or 10am. I run downstairs and make my husband, Detmar, a cup of tea. His therapist says I should because I am an incredibly selfish person. I then pat his black pug Alfie. It was named after one of Michael Caine's film characters. I have such a crush on Michael Caine; he's not handsome, but he has a sexy voice.
My first decision is what to wear. The hat always comes first - it dictates the dress. My wardrobe is simple: it is tailored, 1940s-style; very Wallis Simpson [the woman for whom Edward VIII abdicated the throne]. I often wear corsets with trousers. It is important to get the silhouette right - when you wear a hat, your outfit must come in at the waist then flow outwards. I love to look like a drawing.
All my hats are made by Philip Treacy. I discovered him as a student and asked him to make my wedding hat. Thirty of them are part of an exhibition that is on tour at the moment. I haven't collected many since the exhibition because a couture hat starts at #2,500 [$35,000], although I get a discount. One time, when Princess Margaret came for tea, I wore a hat that had the rose for England and the thistle for Scotland on it, just like I was being the queen, and the princess said, 'Hello hat'.
A hat makes you confident. I don't hide behind it but I am shy of people seeing what I am like inside. It's very common to get chatted up while wearing a hat - I got chatted up by four men last night because I was wearing one. Women say they can't wear a hat, but men love them. If you are looking for a husband I'd say get a dog or a hat.
I don't have a routine day, although [Greig] Geordie, my editor [at British Tatler] is strict with me. I call him Napoleon because he runs everything on a tight string. We worked together at The Sunday Times and he is a wonderful person, but I have to tell him where I am or leave a note on his desk. But my time is fluid. Yesterday I had an appointment at Alexander McQueen and went on the rampage trying on things from off the rail. I tried on 15 things and loved a scarf featuring a bird in flight. I introduced McQueen to falconry nine years ago at my husband's castle, although he's loved birds since he was eight. I chose a lot of things including the Marilyn Monroe dress, which I borrowed for [American Vogue journalist] Plum Sykes' wedding - she's another of my proteges. I chose a miniature corset that I am having made up in six different colours and a pink quilted dress that I call the 'hot water bottle dress'.
I do about two fashion shoots a month - they usually take two days - and I oversee the shoots produced by other girls in the team. I did Princess Beatrice for the current issue of Tatler with two new photographers called Sean and Seng. I always like looking for new people to collaborate with. We wanted to make her look like a Botticelli Venus with her hair flying everywhere. I wanted her to look seductive, to make the viewer want to make love to her.
I did a shoot a while ago with her mother, [Sarah Ferguson] the Duchess of York. It was by a swimming