I want to have a piercing done below the waist - you know where - as a surprise for my boyfriend. Could you recommend a hygienic piercing studio that does this kind of intimate piercing and a ballpark figure for the cost? Pierce of the Action, Lamma Island The Dictator rules: Ew. He'll be surprised, alright. Now, my dear little self-mutilator, are you a boy or a girl? More importantly, are you of age? Go for a consultation at Primal Piercing (inside the Hairdressers, 1/F, Winning Centre, 46 Wyndham Street, Central, tel: 2973 0512). Open Monday to Saturday from 10am to 7pm, its staff do ears, tongues, belly button, nipples and, yes, private parts. In general, its piercing services cost from $300 to $500, not including the jewellery ($150 to $300). Reassuringly, you can have the piercing done by a man or a woman. We've also heard good things about the piercer (sounds like a horror movie character) at Chynese Tattoos (1/F, 33 Carnarvon Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, tel: 2368 3621), which is also open every day except Sunday, from about 6pm to about 1am. Wherever you go, remember any kind of piercing requires the utmost hygiene, especially down there. Take a friend to ensure all tools used are sterile. Since I heard the polar ice caps were melting, I've been trying to live a more 'green' life. Can you tell me where to buy a green laundry detergent that will safely clean my beloved fashion items? Ice Baby, Shek O The Dictator: What am I? A scientist? I'm not going to pretend to know anything about phosphates, detergent metabolites, alkylphenol ethoxylates and who knows what other substances to avoid. To become informed, contact Friends of the Earth (tel: 2528 5588; www.foe.org.hk ) or the government's Environmental Protection Department (tel: 2824 3773; www.epd.gov.hk ), then you'll be able to determine how safe the following allegedly green products are. Healing Plants (17 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central, tel: 2815 9448) has a laundry liquid ($114) by a company that sounds like a hippy cult, Seventh Generation ( www.seventhgeneration.com ). It comes in scentless Free & Clear or Natural Citrus Scent. It seems the bosses at City'super (shop 1041, IFC Mall, Central, tel: 2234 7128; www.citysuper.com.hk ) are believers too. The store carries a wide range of Seventh Generation cleaners, including lavender-scented laundry liquid ($70) as well as a non-chlorine bleach ($48) and a fabric softener ($55). There are other brands, including Ecos soy-based laundry liquid ($128; www.ecos.com ) and powder ($68), and Ecover Ultra liquid ($90; www.ecover.com ) and powder ($75). Where can I buy a hair-straightening lotion? I didn't know it would be so humid here and I'm a frizzy mess. Going Straight, Kowloon Tong The Dictator: Yes, Hong Kong is not in the middle of the desert. Quelle surprise! Here's another shock: it never snows here. Try Hang Straight, a straightening lotion made with organic flax seed, marshmallow root and silica by Aveda ($190; G113, Gateway, Harbour City, Tsim Sha Tsui, tel: 2157 6031). Another natural solution is Phyto's Phytodefrisant relaxing balm with plant extracts ($150; Joyce Beauty, New World Tower, Central, tel: 2869 5816). Also from Joyce, you might like Philip B's Drop Dead straightening balm ($190) or Bumble and Bumble's silicone-based Defrizz ($170). Funds all dried up? Head to Watsons for L'Oreal Studio Line's new Hot Straight heat-activated straightening cream ($46.90; Watsons, Times Square, Causeway Bay, tel: 2506 3081).