Love me, love my pet

It has always been a dog's life for pets in New York City. They may get some pampering, but they probably have workaholic owners lucky to get home in time to take them for a walk at night. They have minimal living space, and they have to behave themselves - or risk getting their owner evicted from the apartment building.

But recently even these pressures seem modest compared with the latest demands on the typical pet in this city. It's no longer enough that cats, for example, merely look perfect at a Madison Square Garden cat show. Now an animal's owner may force it to enter the agility competition - a kind of feline obstacle course. Dogs can no longer just bark and growl their way into a new home from the confines of a dog pound - they may now get 'attitude training' from a behavioural expert.

They also have to go on doggie dates just so their human associates can find a partner without going through the chat-up routine in a bar. The style pages of newspapers and magazines have recently carried stories about the latest hook-up scene for pet owners. One website, called Datemypet.com, has as much space for a picture of the pet and a blurb about their personality and likes and dislikes as it does for their owner. Language lessons are also in. Recently, 30 dogs arrived at New York's Kennedy Airport from China after being rescued from an animal shelter in Beijing. But they only understood Chinese commands, so had to be taught English or their new owners had to learn Putonghua.

Religion is not off limits, either. The Cathedral Church of St John the Divine has an annual pet-blessing service. Some owners also want to play God by freezing their pets' DNA, so that they can be cloned in the future.

Some good may come out of this blurring of lines between the animal and the human worlds. With celebrities such as Paris Hilton turning their pets (hers is a chihuahua called Tinkerbell) into accessories, luxury is in. There is a magazine called Paw Luxuries that is all about pampering pets. Dogs can have a 'dogicure', they can wear Le Pooch perfume and attend a puppy shower. Some airlines offer pet frequent-flyer points.

There are even reality television competitions for pets. Today in New York, the prize for 'America's least obedient dog' will be handed out. The winner will have to demonstrate a refusal to respond to simple commands, to show little discipline and to be extremely noisy. The winner gets intensive training by a dog obedience expert and a cash prize.