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Understanding bad behaviour

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There is no such thing as a bad child. There is only bad behaviour.

Bad behaviour involves intentionally hurting others either by hitting, fighting, teasing, telling tales, spreading rumours, ignoring or excluding others, calling them names and biting and scratching (the latter two being particularly popular among younger children).

Children who misbehave can disrupt school time and playtime.

Bad behaviour carried out repeatedly over time to gain physical and psychological advantage over others is called bullying. Some children seem to be perpetual bullies, while others are natural targets.

When children behave badly, we need to look beneath the surface to find the reason. Often we will find a tangle of inner turmoil that the child is incapable of dealing with or articulating.

Many children do not possess sufficient vocabulary or emotional maturity to express how they are feeling, especially if these feelings are unpleasant.

Just like grown-ups, children get hurt, scared, angry, anxious, depressed or jealous. But unlike adults, children often cannot express these feelings without being told off, ignored or punished.

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