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SCMP Reporter

Matrimonial agency brings together those who have lost lust

Wang Li  is quite a catch. But the 29-year-old only son of a wealthy family in the Zhejiang countryside has been unlucky in love.

Mr Wang, who has endured a failed marriage and several doomed love affairs, thought he would never find a partner - until a matchmaking company found a  fiancee for him.

There are tens of thousands of matrimonial agencies, but they are unlike the one Mr Wang got help from - it offers platonic marriages for those who do not want sex.

The Cupid Agency opened in Nanjing  at the end of last year and has been so successful that thousands of customers from around the country have come flocking to the eastern city.

Mr Wang was one of 110 people who travelled to Nanjing in May for a get-together it organised for people interested in sexless marriage.  There he met his  fiancee, who also wanted the same deal.

Besides those with sexual disabilities like Mr Wang - who has a micropenis - most people registering at the matchmaking offices have lost their sex drive because of  mental disorders.

Luo Jun , who owns Cupid, says such services are very popular with people who crave company but are put off marriage by the thought of sex.

'Celibacy after marriage is still unacceptable in China's mainstream,' he says. 'A marriage without intercourse means it's based on more than just sex, like a couple's desire for a normal family life.'

Mr Luo decided there was a need for such a matchmaking service when a woman from Anhui , whose twin girls were born without vaginas, approached him.

Xu Anqi , vice-director of the Chinese Institute for Women, says that in the past sex was a taboo subject. 'It was shameful to talk about sexual needs in public, and it was an even bigger shame to talk about not having a need for sex,' she says.

'People who have lost interest in sex or lack the ability to have sex are still a minority, but you can see more and more couples experience marriage with less or no sex.'

Most feel pressure to marry, but Ms Xu says: 'With more stress in Chinese society and things like sexual dysfunction, sexual and physical abuse and chronic fatigue syndrome, more people are closing the door to sex.'

A  Renmin University survey said   about 28 per cent of married and cohabiting partners had sex once a month, while 6 per cent had sex only once a year.

'Wang Li's parents spent almost 300,000 yuan  to help him since he was born, but they failed. His mother knelt down to thank me when she discovered that her son was no longer alone,' Mr Luo said.

Cupid's next get-together is later this month and already, Mr Luo says, more than 10,000 people have shown an interest in taking part. Hundreds of them, including people from Taiwan, Japan, Australia and Italy, have paid to take part.



No sex please, all I want is a spouse