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Annemarie Evans

THE BENEFICIARIES: END CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE FOUNDATION; Teen rape victim recounts the trauma that haunted her for over two decades

Their teacher was kind and informative. The students enjoyed being in his class because he explained things well. Crystal had spent years at secondary school in his classes, so when he asked her to deliver some books to his home, she willingly agreed.

She was 16 at the time, and it has taken her more than 20 years to try to come to terms with what happened.

When she arrived at the teacher's flat with the books, he grabbed her from behind and raped her.

'I trusted him; I had known him for years,' she recalls. 'I tried to push him away but he was stronger than me. He just said sorry to me before I left, but I don't think he felt guilty. I was very frightened and felt so ashamed. I blamed myself for the fact that I had trusted him.'

Crystal was unable to tell her parents; she couldn't tell her friends. So the walls around her grew to the point where she shut herself off. She later married but couldn't be open and love her husband, so the marriage fell apart.

'I didn't let anyone near me. So even if a boy liked me, I felt I wasn't good enough, that I was damaged goods. The teacher left at the end of that semester. Even before I got married, I still felt so cheap.'

At  26, Crystal's doctor referred her to a social worker and she was helped by social workers to express her feelings, come to terms with the most traumatic event of her life - and to learn where to lay the blame.

'I have got some of my self-confidence back and now know that it wasn't my fault,' she says.

'Now I'm so angry with him, I'm full of hatred. He affected me in so many aspects. My marriage, my  studies, my job.

'He made me lose my self-respect. I could never apply for the jobs that I probably could have got, because I felt so useless.'

After counselling, Crystal eventually was able to venture out of her home.

'It was the 1970s,' she says. 'Now I would encourage girls to report abuse to the police. I want more people to be alert to sexual abuse so that there will be fewer victims in the future.'

One charity working towards that goal is the End Child Sexual Abuse Foundation, which was set up in 1998. It is one of this year's Operation Santa Claus beneficiaries.

It trains social workers to provide guidance and counselling to victims and their families and also has two mobile classrooms for educational outreach programmes. They reach 15,000 children a year.

In Hong Kong, where sex abuse is largely seen as a taboo subject, there are many cases of family abuse.

The abuse can involve incest between siblings, as well as  cases involving trusted figures outside the family, such as teachers and other responsible figures in a child's life.

Through the mobile classrooms, the foundation uses models and brightly coloured gloves to teach the children how to be aware of child sexual abuse, so that such situations can be avoided.

Through funds raised by Operation Santa Claus, co-organised by RTHK and the South China Morning Post, the foundation would like to cover the cost of running a mobile classroom for a year.

The organisation also wants to produce a book to educate children about sexual abuse.

Tomorrow: Hans Andersen Club



'He made me lose my self-respect'