Microwave me another diamond, dear
Lately the sight of a TSL Jewellery billboard, with those blown-up, brilliant round-cut diamonds sparkling so keenly, has begun to look funny to me. I'm wondering what will happen to Chow Tai Fook, Tiffany's, Chow Sang Sang and Cartier. I'm unable to think about diamonds now without chuckling to myself.
An article about a scientist from Taiwan's Academia Sinica, Mao Ho-kwang, caught my attention. He had found a new method for diamond synthesis, and displayed the awe-inspiring result of his experiments - a homemade 10-carat diamond - at an international conference.
The amusing part is the materials he used. Apparently the Taiwanese scientist had figured out how to make a natural raw diamond 'grow' with nothing more than hydrogen, nitrogen and methane extracted from ... cow dung. The best part is, after you have your ingredients, you initiate the reaction by adding heat with - you'll never guess - a microwave oven.
Actually, if you forget the particulars of the method for a second, it's not a new idea. People have been synthesising diamonds for half a century, simulating the forces of nature by putting graphite under high pressure in a high-temperature environment, and catalysing the reaction with an iron-nickel alloy. But they couldn't profit by passing their homegrown diamonds off on the precious-stone market, mainly because of their size (you can't 'grow' anything larger than 3 carats) and their colour (a telltale canary yellow).
With the new microwaveable diamond, however, if you apply the right cut and polish, even the Gemological Institute of America would be hard-pressed to spot the difference.
Just imagine: quality diamonds at the press of a button; a little jewel icon next to the popcorn and roast-chicken icons on every microwave oven's panel; the equivalent of an inexhaustible diamond mine in the comfort of your own home. I don't think the diamond market will ever be the same. Maybe the top people at DeBeers in Johannesburg are frantically commanding their scientists to find a fatal flaw in Mr Mao's product.
This innovative method of diamond production will not only bring about a change in the precious gem market; it will also, more than likely, bring a shift in the semiconductor market. According to researchers, diamonds are very effective conductors of heat and, if readily available, could easily replace silicon on circuit boards.
In other words, if the price of diamonds drops, a certain area in northern California might have to start calling itself Diamond Valley.
In Death of a Salesman, Arthur Miller writes, 'The jungle is dark but full of diamonds.' It took us more than 50 years to finally discover the diamonds in the nebulous thickets ... of cow patties. And when it comes to the upper crust of tomorrow's rich and famous society, will they still yearn to bedeck themselves with glistening diamonds?
Will we start to see men hesitating uncomfortably before kissing a woman's diamond-encrusted hand?
When diamonds become as commonplace as - well, manure in a pasture - it is more than likely we'll stop seeing diamonds bedecking engagement rings. Surely the international symbol for love's commitment and undying union cannot be a byproduct of bovine byproduct.
The socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, in her husky Hungarian accent, 'I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.'
It seems we won't have to worry about giving our diamonds back any more. Now all we have to do to punish an unfaithful man is give him a handful of manure back.
Lu Ping is Taiwan's cultural envoy in Hong Kong
