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SCMP Reporter

It's time for the monthly dose of fun from the German Business Association's magazine, GBAktuell, which unlike last month does not have 15 photographs of editorial board member Ekkehard Goetting.

This time it's the cover that's baffling. Why do they have a photograph of someone trying to steal a car in the middle of Beijing? Because that's a Chinese person trying to steal a German car, that's why.

There's some lesson to do with free trade and China's admission to GATT here - if you look hard enough.

They have an interview with Vokswagen's Dr Martin Posth on the car firm's expansion plans for the China market.

''China today has 1.2 million cars, that means statistically 1,000 people sharing one car,'' says Dr Posth.

Quite a crush.

  Sweater can't hide middle-age concern THERE'S a serious overdose of entrepreneurship, charisma and magnetism in town at the moment.

  There's the Second World Chinese Entrepreneurs Convention, and there are dozens of irritatingly bright JayCees, from the Junior Chambers of Commerce conference.

  There's also Michael Bloomberg, the founder of the eponymous financial data service.

  And there's Richard Branson, the founder of British Airways' least favourite airline, Virgin Atlantic. Plus our own Business Award winners.

  Among all of these, Richard Branson is the only one wearing a sweater.

  Grinning Richard is bouncing around town at quite a speed, taking in the governor, Swire Pacific chairman Peter Sutch and a host of other taipans and functions in superquick time.

  He also found time for quite a few Bransonesque quips.

  At lunch, for instance, he told of his new service for Virgin's Upper Class customers. Instead of a limo to the airport, they can use a Virgin Atlantic motorbike.

  ''We've had a few people use it. Well, one. Myself,'' he said.

  Despite his reputation as a young maverick who specialises in upsetting fogeys, the ex-music king shows signs of intellectual middle-aged spread, so to speak.

  No longer boasting about cheap fares, the sort of thing that interests students and other no-budget travellers, he's now more interested in pampering passengers in suits.

  Remember, this is the guy who nurtured a generation of punk rock bands with names like Sex Pistols and X-Ray Spex, who screamed abuse at the sort of people he's now giving in-air jacuzzis to.

  What excites him now?   ''Our lounge at London Heathrow, which is situated behind a panoramic view of the airport and offers a library, a games room, a music room, massage, manicure, hairdressing and even a train set for the children at heart,'' he says.

  No chips RICHARD Branson had bad news for those who were looking forward to losing huge sums on his inflight gambling service.

  The credit-card software isn't ready yet. One suggestion for an interim step was that people be allowed to gamble with their frequent flier miles.

  To reduce the disappointment, there'll be inflight croupiers on some services.

  Believe it or not, the role model he's offering to his rivals is none other than China's CAAC.

  He says that splitting a firm into regional units and allowing independents in is ''a sensible way to bring the market to bear on an inefficient, state-owned monolith''.

  If he's going somewhere his airline doesn't serve, he says he chooses ''any airline that isn't British Airways''.

   Hit for six  A FURTHER dose of entrepreneurship came from Michael Bloomberg, in town for the opening of his financial data service company's nice new office in Central.

  He's very proud of his company's gadget, which produces almost all the Business Post graphs, and seems particularly proud that his young company's financial data system is preferred by many to that produced by the venerable Reuter, which started in business 142 years ago.

  We passed on a complaint we'd heard from dealers that his machine didn't have cricket scores, unlike its venerable competitor's.

  ''What?'' he said.

  Eight key presses later, he had the batting averages for Yorkshire on a nearby Bloomberg screen.

  ''And our cricket results are quicker than Reuter's,'' he said.

  For an American who sells financial data to insist on excellence in his cricket results service is impressive perfectionism.

  This is why Michael Bloomberg employs 1,300, and Lai See employs no-one.

  Aaiiyy-yee-haa GOOD news for readers in Changsha, Hunan province. You can now buy a great selection of cowboy clothes.

  And by cowboy clothes, we don't mean the usual mainland stuff, such as non-Playboy T-shirts. It's the real McCoy - 10-gallon hats, spurs, etc.

  A US chain called American Westernwear International has taken space in Chung Shang, a state-owned store in the centre of the city.

  Their managing director claims that Country and Western music is getting popular in China, and it's making people want to wear the clothes.

  ''It's no longer a trend. It's a lifestyle,'' he says.

  Most of it's probably made in China anyway.

  Spread abroad DECLAN Cassidy supplies another tale of toast, about a very senior City figure who ordered three slices of toast with a meal at London's posh Savoy hotel. After two slices, the City gent realised he didn't have enough butter, and asked for more.

  The waiter, who was in a bad mood, said the gentleman had used his full allocation and no more could be supplied.

  The tycoon went into a fit of rage, saying in very clear terms how important he was, how often he dined at the Savoy and so on.

  The waiter said: ''That's all very well and good, sir; however, you seem to be forgetting who I am.''   ''And who exactly are you?'' said the tycoon.

  The waiter replied: ''I'm the man with the butter.'' 



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