My daughter is 18 this year and it scares me. She has a boyfriend, is learning to drive and has her career planned out. She's my only child and we've always been close. Now I'm worried that I'm about to lose her and I will be alone with my husband. I'm sure it scares him, too. She has always been the centre of our lives. It makes me feel sick and sad to think about it. Is it normal to feel this way? First of all, I congratulate you and your husband on doing such a good job of raising your daughter. She seems to have a clear sense of who she is and what she wants to do in her life. Why are you so worried about losing her since you have a close relationship? If you have been close for all of these years, it seems unlikely your warm connection will be lost. What I think you're really concerned about is the transition in your own life. You and your husband will need to renegotiate your marriage. You're moving from a three-person family back to being a couple. A lot of people look at each other after so many years of raising a child and can't figure out what to say to each other any more. As your daughter gets more secure in her independent life, she'll share it more fully with you and your husband. Right now, you and your husband need to discover new mutual interests and intensify the activities you have developed together in the past. Consider taking up an activity together, even charity or volunteer work. Sharon Glick is the director of St John's Counselling Service and has more than 20 years' experience counselling couples and individuals. If you have a question about a relationship issue please contact her via hazel.parry@scmp.com
