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Dear Jaime,

I didn't get into the university that I wanted to attend. I'm upset and  don't know what to do.

Chris

Dear Chris,

I can see how upsetting this must be for you. It's OK to feel  upset - don't think that you have to feel any differently.

Have you had a chance to talk to your parents or a good friend about how you're  feeling? It's important to be able to express your feelings and not hold them in.

When  you feel up to it, think about all  the different options you have. There are many alternatives.  You can still do something that you love.

There  are many different universities in many different countries. You could also transfer to another university after the first year of study.

Here are some  thoughts to consider: Which country do you want to live in? Which other universities offer the course that you want to study? Will you be able to return to Hong Kong for holidays, or is the destination too far away?

Dear Jaime,

My parents don't understand me. They won't let me go out  during  holidays because they say I have to study harder. I do well in my exams and  need a break. What can I do?

Liz

Dear Liz,

Thanks for your e-mail. Working out  a schedule with your parents can be a difficult process, but you can turn it into a worthwhile activity.

I encourage you to sit down with them and  tell  them  how you're  feeling. It would be good if you could  agree with them  on a plan   that allows you to do all that you need to do during holidays (such as have some fun, study, do  chores).

You could set up a reward system which allows you to get credits when you do well in your exams or assignments. Your credits could be used to spend  time with your friends or watch a movie, for example.

You and your parents could come up with the guidelines together, as this may make the process a lot more fun and less stressful for  everyone.

Perhaps, if you don't do as well, your credits could be reduced. This  would motivate you to make your study time a quality time, so that you get the best out of both your studies and free time.

Dear Jaime,

My parents only care about how much work I am doing, and if I am passing or failing - that's it. How can I show them that I am more than just my school work?

Joanne

Hi Joanne,

Thanks for your e-mail. You are not alone with feeling this way.

The best way to work this out is to tell your parents exactly how you are feeling.

One thing to remember is that your parents do really love you, even if they don't communicate it in the way that you need them to.

That's why it will help to sit down with them and explain what support you need.

Sometimes, they don't know how to talk to teenagers, so they only ask them about school.

But if you open up and share with them that you need them to see that there is more to you than just school work, this will help them to communicate with you.



free to be me