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No call for intimate messages

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WE broke the habit of a lifetime recently and filled in a consumer questionnaire.

It was all in a good cause - Burson Marsteller had pledged to send $300 to Operation Santa if we faxed back our opinions about telephone messages.

The questionnaire dealt intelligently with such '90s phenomena as answer-machine phobia and using technology to dodge persistent unwelcome callers.

But we were intrigued by one question asking if it was easier to say intimate messages to someone: A) face to face; B) over the phone; C) on the answering machine; or D) via a paging service telephonist.

We should like to know how many people answered ''D'' and whether this is a way to pass on intimacies such as: ''Squidgy, kiss me. Oh God. It's so wonderful isn't it,'' while making sure no one will pick up your message with any kind of accuracy.

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