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Anita Lam

Two new studies reveal that parents believe teens don't show them enough respect and are afraid of hard work while young people want more privacy and control over their own lives

Most parents say their children do not behave well enough but only a small percentage confess they themselves might be to blame, according to a survey released yesterday.

For the poll, conducted by the publication Xing Qing Culture, 1,311 parents with children at primary or secondary schools were interviewed and asked to identify the 20 worst problems of today's teens.

More than 70 per cent of the parents ranked 'afraid of hard work', and 'emotional problems' as the two worst problems.

Almost half said children did not show respect to parents and 44 per cent said they were 'generally rude'.

Other problems of the younger generation include lack of determination and confidence, lack of goals and motivation, being too calculating, having low self-esteem and not showing respect for teachers.

More than 80 per cent of the parents considered themselves a major influence on their children's behaviour.

But only 9 per cent confessed they were giving a negative model.

The vast majority of parents considered teachers and peers important sources of influence on children. More than a third blamed computer games, the internet and the legalisation of football gambling for children's poor behaviour.

'All advertisements, newspapers and magazines these days promote the concept of consumption power; the more you are able to spend, the more successful you are considered to be,' said Xing Qing Culture's editorial board officer, Terry Law Kwun-chung.

His observations were echoed by researchers at the Hong Kong Education Policy Concern Organisation, which also released a survey yesterday showing teens want more independence and privacy, while parents want more control over their children.

Mervyn Cheung Man-ping, chairman of the organisation, said: 'The social culture is changing. There seems to be a need for the government to pour in more resources in family education.

'Parents should learn how to better communicate with their children, or else their children just will not listen to them.'

The survey by Mr Cheung's group, which covered 956 primary school children, asked them to rank what they most wanted their parents or teachers to do.

On top of the list was 'to be fair and impartial'.

Second was 'allowing me freedom to choose out-of-school activities', followed by 'setting a good model' and 'not to read my personal letters or diary'.

Of the 650 parents polled, the biggest concern was 'children should seek my consent before going out'. Second was 'teachers should be fair and impartial'.

Lila Ho Lai-har, president of the Association of Hong Kong Student Guidance Professionals, said many parents thought they had done their job after finding a school for their children.

Mr Cheung agreed, but added: 'I hear complaints from some headmasters that some parents even want to instruct the teachers how to teach, or tell headmasters who to hire to teach their children. That is another extreme.'

Most common complaints

The 10 most common complaints

parents make about their children:

Fear hard work  78 per cent

Are too emotional  70 per cent

Show them disrespect  9 per cent

Are too calculating  45 per cent

Lack determination  45 per cent

Lack motivation  45 per cent

Are rude  44 per cent

Have low self-esteem  43 per cent

Have no goals  39 per cent

Disrespect teachers  34 per cent



Who is to blame for bad behaviour?