The whole truth

When Fanny Lam Oi-yuet and her husband Patrick Ng Mau-tak first thought about adopting, they decided they wouldn't conceal the lack of blood ties from their child. The baby they adopted is now five, and the couple are beginning to explain to their daughter how they got her.

'Everyone has the right to know their past,' says Lam, a house- wife. 'Step by step, we'll help her understand that she has a biological mother.'

Lam and her husband, however, are exceptions. Chinese parents may be more open about adoption these days, but progress remains slow.

'Chinese families still tend not to tell their children that they're adopted and keep it a secret for as long as possible,' says Chung Kim-wah, an assistant professor of applied social sciences at the Polytechnic University.

That mindset is partly due to the traditional preference for natural parenthood, but welfare groups and social workers say it's best for adoptive parents to be candid. The youngsters are likely to be distressed and feel a sense of betrayal if they learn the truth about their origins inadvertently.

A local watch maker and his wife, who only want to be known as Mr and Mrs Wong, learned the hard way. For years, they took great pains to keep their son in the dark. But what was meant to be a lifetime secret blew up in their faces when Mrs Wong was mistakenly arrested three years ago while transporting watch samples for her husband. The panic-stricken woman blurted out the truth to her son at the police station. Then 15, their son was so upset by the revelation he ran away from home. The boy eventually returned to the Wongs.