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Film and television award shows function more as an alternative to gossip magazines than a serious tribute to the craft and its players. Watching them is a good way to keep up with red-carpet styles and scrutinise the latest nips, tucks and fake tans. The American Film Institute's (AFI) life achievement award does not disappoint in this department. But although it's a glitzy, cheesed-up affair, the award committee does a good job picking Tinsel Town's most popular alumni. Past recipients include Meryl Streep, Robert De Niro, George Lucas, Tom Hanks, Barbra Streisand, Dustin Hoffman and Clint Eastwood.
Star World airs the 35th award ceremony, which was held last month, this Saturday at 9pm. This year, the AFI has hailed the don. After 40 years in the business, Al Pacino is a certified godfather of the silver screen. The ceremony spotlights his humble beginnings in off-Broadway productions, his meteoric rise to fame as Michael Corleone in The Godfather, his most explosive performances and his notorious bachelorhood. A dozen of Pacino's peers cajole, thank, toast, roast and flirt with the guest of honour. Highlights include Jamie Foxx and his tale of being up close and personal with Pacino's 'mouth moisture', comedian George Lopez and his arsenal of expletives, and Gabriel Anwar and her sultry how-he-stole-my-heart song and dance. While Pacino's considerable achievements are well addressed, we are reminded - most succinctly by Streep - that it's all just a show.
Hollywood paparazzi will have little time for rest thanks to the recent arrival of 'Britain's most famous couple'. As Victoria and David Beckham settle into their New World existence, BBC Entertainment brings us Our Story: Posh and Becks (Friday at 9.25pm). First in the Star Stories series, which pokes fun at Britain's high-profile celebrities, this episode parodies the soap-opera love story of England's prettiest footballer and the skeletal ex-Spice Girl-cum-fashionista, who has made a TV show about the couple's move to LA. Daisy Beaumont's social-climbing dominatrix Posh and Oliver Maltman's daft Becks (both right, seated) make for a good laugh, but it is Kevin Bishop (far right) as Sir Alex Ferguson who scores the goal.
Fergie's totalitarian temperament and obsession with discipline are sources of awe and respect among football fans. You don't need to dig deep for dirt on Manchester United's second-longest-serving, and arguably most successful, manager. Bishop plays up the insanity, frothing at the mouth as Posh's influence over Becks grows. The story culminates in a clash between Ferguson and Beckham after United lose to Arsenal. Ferguson is so upset he kicks a boot into Beckham's right eyebrow, cutting it - and prompting Beckham to transfer to Spain. That incident actually happened. But I bet you didn't know Ferguson's anger was fuelled by Becks' announcement he was going to marry Posh - thus revealing the manager's secret lust for the Adonis of footballers.
Spending half an hour on a Beckham parody may lower your IQ, but the scene in which he walks out on Ferguson with a boot lodged in his forehead makes it worthwhile.
Closer to home, we have Discovery Travel and Living's latest showcase of the motherland. Former Hong Kong VJ David Wu makes a comeback as the travelling host of China Fast Forward, an updated look at cities and towns in different provinces. Wu, who I've always thought of as the first Chinese frat-boy jock, hasn't changed much since his days at Channel V and his antics liven up the bland and superficial content. In the first episode, Wu visits Sichuan's provincial capital Chengdu, the home of the giant panda. He hangs out with a real-estate guru who funded a war museum, then frolics in a 'craft village', that is, tourist trap. Not the most in-depth show, but its American-born Chinese vibe might appeal to the MTV - or, sorry - Channel V generation. China Fast Forward premieres on Saturday at 6.30pm.
