I Wouldn't Start From Here: A Misguided Tour of the Early 21st Century
I Wouldn't Start From Here: A Misguided Tour of the Early 21st Century
by Andrew Mueller
Picador, HK$200
Andrew Mueller arrived in Abkhazia in 2005 after hearing about the 'restive patch of Black Sea coast with aspirations of statehood' at a summit of the Unrecognised Nations and Peoples Organisation. Struggling for international recognition after its war with Georgia in the 1990s was overshadowed by strife in the Balkans, Abkhazia had become warily dependent on a predatory Russia. Mueller stops at a former Soviet resort overlooking one of Abkhazia's many litter-strewn beaches: 'It was neither the first time, nor the first place, that I'd contemplated land that the people upon it pledged that they would die for, and wondered why, if they loved it so much, they didn't keep it tidy.'
Right-wing tendencies are an asset to the gonzo journalist. No matter how you mutate the form or which chemicals fuel the prose or how many young men in Che T-shirts read the stuff, gonzo, being journalism, needs to make a point. Left-leaning scribes hold the single onion skin to the sun, marvelling at its complexity and expressing awe for the density of the untouched bulb. Conservatives want to slice through with a sharp gag or observation. Mueller's mildly conservative stance also tells the reader that it's not enough to just read about challenging places and situations: if we stick to visiting Iraq in an armchair, we'll at least have to sit through a few tests of the belief system. For Mueller the rock writer, conservatism is the new rebellion.
Mueller visits the hells on Earth - Iraq, Gaza, Kabul and the Balkans - finding energetic, inspiring ordinary people who only make him despair more. For contrast, he uses his gift for quickly unlocking places on sedate Luxembourg. The self-effacing national anthem, Ons Heemecht (Our Homeland), asks: 'Oh thou above whose powerful hand/ Makes states or lays them low/ Protect this Luxembourger land/ Make foreign yoke and woe.' The message, says Mueller, is: 'Look, we're no trouble. Seriously, you'll hardly notice we're here.
If you have to invade somebody, try France.'