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Finding a meaning in life puts all of us all to the test

David Phair

In my work with the mentally ill over many years, I've come to learn that there are a lot of young people who are often not happy these days. Their tolerance levels for the difficulties we face in life are not so high.

I see increasing numbers of young adults, including many university kids, who are mentally ill.

One key difficulty is that often they do not accept that they have been, or continue to be, ill. Yet about one in three people in Hong Kong will suffer from mental illness in their life - or about one-third of the people any one person knows.

In Asian societies, mental illness has traditionally been seen as shameful, though fortunately this has been changing in the past 10 years.

Even so, youngsters often have too many expectations from life. When I was growing up in the 1950s and '60s, life was also not easy. In fact, it was difficult to get into university because, at one point, there was only the University of Hong Kong.

As a result I, like many others, had to study hard, especially as I was a girl, to ensure I received a higher education. You had to be top of the pyramid and standards were higher then.

There were nine of us growing up in our Causeway Bay flat at the time, though we were fortunate as it was 1,200 sq ft. Dad was a contractor and he supported my mother, a housewife, and seven children - five girls and two boys.

I went to Sacred Heart Canossian College, which was then in Caine Road, and my high standard of English now is due to one teacher, Ms Wong.

I had her from Form Four to Form Seven and without her I doubt whether I would have got into HKU. She treated learning English as a whole, meaning it wasn't just about writing it, but speaking and listening, and so on.

My schoolmates were what I enjoyed most about those times. It wasn't that I was such a sociable person, more that I enjoyed those relationships. I'm still in touch with a lot of friends from those days.

What I disliked most was the rigidity and inflexibility of the school. We all had to kneel so that the teachers could see our skirts were long enough to touch the ground. I found it rather humiliating and don't believe that's the way to deal with young girls.

Of course skirts should be of a reasonable length but you can take a girl to one side if they're not. It was an old-style school and all the students were very diligent and obedient.

I think the quality of teaching was much better then, but we should have been encouraged to be more analytical.

I loved university, where I did arts subjects, as it challenged me to think vertically and horizontally. I'd skip the boring lectures while I learned to be more critical from those I did attend.

I became involved in social work, realising that I'd been very privileged to have the education I had. I did voluntary work teaching poor kids simple Chinese in Western district. These kids had few choices in life but I felt I could still help them. We'd also help in other ways, by laying pipes so people had a water supply at home.

In between I was a part-time English teacher, which helped me pay for trips to places such as Singapore and Taiwan, and broaden my horizons. I still didn't know what I really wanted to do after university.

I taught English in a secondary school for a while then joined the government, but found it too rigid.

As a result, I trained to be a social worker. It meant foregoing the perks of government - such as a housing allowance - but I found it tested my ability to develop personally and what I wanted to achieve. I was also helping others.

I volunteered for New Life, before I joined it in 1981, counselling male residents in a To Kwa Wan hostel and doing administrative work.

New Life helps people with a history of mental illness, rehabilitating them and helping them to rejoin the community.

Back in those early days, it was a small agency; nowadays we run hostels, sheltered workshops, farms and clubs on a non-profit-making basis. We believe that there's a way to help those who help themselves but they have to want our help, so everybody who comes to us does so voluntarily.

Most will get better, as their illness can be managed with medication. It's like diabetes - you take it for the rest of your life.

We're also focusing more on employment and training. I strongly believe people need to and want to benefit from contributing to society. I know from our retail businesses staffed by those who've suffered mental illness that their own self-image has been enhanced.

Our job isn't easy as the mentally ill can claim Comprehensive Social Security Assistance.

But I'd ask anyone with mental difficulties this: do you really want to spend 30 years on CSSA or would you prefer to take the chance to lead a more meaningful life?

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