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SCMP Reporter

Astha Agarwal, 14
I'm not really good with jokes. When my friends and I have awkward silences, one of us always  shouts,  'Fat penguin!'  When everyone looks surprised and confused, the shouter  says, 'I just needed something to break the ice!'
Chien Wei Lui, 15
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To  get to the body shop!
Mamita Gurung, 16
This is a crime story. Five friends lived together: Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody and Nobody. One day, Somebody killed Nobody.  Brain was in the bathroom. Mad called police. Mad: 'Is this the police station?' Police: 'Yes, what's the matter, sir?' Mad: 'Somebody killed Nobody.' Police: 'Are you mad?' Mad: 'Yes sir, I am Mad'. Police: 'Don't you have a brain?' Mad: 'Brain is in the bathroom.' Police: 'You fool.' Mad: 'No,  Fool is reading this  joke.'
Nikhil Ramchandani, 14
What do mummies like? Wrap music! I like this  joke because it's  vaguely about a type of music  I appreciate.
Dheeya Rizmie, 14
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? Because the
can said 'concentrate'!
Susan Rai, 17
Husband to wife: 'You'll never succeed in making that dog obey you.'
Wife to husband: 'Nonsense. It's only a matter of patience. I had a lot of trouble with you  at first.'
Rajvi Shah, 14
A brunette goes to the doctor. As she touches each part of her body with her finger, she says, 'Doctor, it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!' The doctor asks, 'Were you ever a blonde?' 'Yes, I was,' she replies. 'Why do you ask?' The doctor answers, 'Because your finger is broken!'
Sunandan Dhar, 14
Tom's teacher was annoyed with Tom's poor performance in class. She decided to  test him.  She asked Tom to make a sentence using the words 'detail', 'defence' and 'dekat' (Indonesian word meaning 'around'). After a lot of thinking, Tom answered: 'Dekat jumped over defence taking detail with it!'
Mui Thomas, 15
I was never really  great at telling jokes,  but here goes:
A teenage girl goes into a hair salon and says, 'I'd like a haircut like Christina Aguilera.'
So the hairdresser shaves off all her hair.
The girl screams, 'That doesn't look like Christina Aguilera!'
'Oops, sorry,  Mickey Mouse clubbers all look the same to me!'



Tell us a joke