When Woody Allen said '80 per cent of life is turning up' he could have been talking about the dress-up outfits in the South Stand. Competition off the pitch is taken as seriously as that on the pitch. The true dress-up denizens know that to maximise the fun factor at the Sevens, it's about turning up, turned out to the nines. 1. If you wear a suit/costume be sure it opens/zips without a hitch, because of the obvious. 2. Don't wait until the last minute to go to the toilet and try to keep the costume dry. 3. Keep drinking - water that is - during the day. 4. Stay away from 15 penguins if you happen to be wearing the only bear suit in the stadium. 5. Steer well clear of that glass of refreshing water ... it's usually vodka. 6. Wear suitable underwear, as chaffing can be a killer. 7. Don't at any time make smart comments to Kiwis when they lose a semi-final. 8. Take baguettes to throw at the French crowd at the back. 9. If you're in drag make sure you don't have VPL. 10. Don't abuse the security staff - they're all ex-Gurkhas! 11. Have a skinny mirror at home, so that you look fabulous in everything before you leave for the Sevens. 12. The best outfits and the maddest antics always happen in the South Stand - get there early or you'll queue for hours! 13. Don't wear (or hide) accessories that officials at the entrance might deem as 'dangerous'. These items include flimsy plastic canes, whistles, plastic toy guns and small wooden horsies. For some reason, whips and chains seem to be okay. 14. Bring a waterproof bag to put your belongings in under your seat and don't bring or wear anything you care about. 15. Bring a friend or two to chaperone you and keep you out of trouble.