Hong Kong counsellor Sharon Glick understands more than most the pros and cons of getting your family involved in wedding preparations. Her own nuptials weren't exactly what she'd envisaged: 'My father found a wedding hall right under a subway in Queens, New York. It was a horrific place. He showed it to us and we immediately said we didn't want to have our wedding there, but it was too late, he'd already signed the contract. Relatives came from out of town wearing tuxedos and had to go to this dingy awful place. It was mortifying.'
Ms Shaw says there are many benefits to getting the family intimately involved with the preparations, not only because you can usually trust them and they will feel an obligation to get it right, but also because it makes a wedding more personal. 'Get a family member to sing if they have a good voice, or to do a reading at the ceremony,' she says. And of course, as Mr Lau points out, getting a relative to act as emcee, do your hair, or drive you to the church or reception can save a lot of money. 'We help couples understand the benefits of letting the family get involved. We talk to the bride and groom and let them know that families do have expectations, and the wedding is a party for the whole family, rather than just for the couple alone,' he says.
Ms Glick says getting the family involved can strengthen bonds and make the wedding feel warmer and less manufactured. 'But remember to offer to pay for expenses if you ask people to do things, or buy them a gift to say thank you. With healthy, happy families, you can see the affection and connection when families are involved.'
When Sonia Lau got married last year, she asked her cousin, a professional photographer, to take the wedding photographs. 'Because she knew so many of the guests, the photographs had an added dimension; everyone was so much more relaxed, including my husband and I. Everyone who sees my wedding photos comments on how happy everyone looked.'