MONDAY A HERD of heavily-armed militant cows mooing, 'he drew first blood', parachute into the opening ceremony of Planet Hollywood, kill Sly Stallone in 942 different ways and liberate several thousand MIA hamburgers.
TUESDAY FOLLOWING the success of the large metal fung shui cock on top of the Tuen Mun police station in driving sex crime from the area, an effigy of the fat tramp who hangs around Central Market is hoisted on top of the Stock Exchange.
Plans to make Urban Council meetings more open, in the wake of the controversy caused by the $16 million gala opening of the Hong Kong Stadium, run into difficulties. Councillors who suggested the meetings should be held in the stadium itself discover themanager, Wembley International, is demanding $150,000 per meeting or 20 per cent of revenue, whichever is higher.
WEDNESDAY BREATHTAKING in one of Margaret Thatcher's beautiful diamond necklaces, Prime Minister John Major addressed a press conference. 'I was misquoted,' he claimed. 'I never advocated a 'back to basics' policy. What I actually said was: 'What Britain needs is a back to gay sex policy'.' Benetton's latest 'image terrorism' advertisement showing Ronnie Yip with small breasts is banned.
THURSDAY RICHARD Branson announces there has been a misunderstanding about his product after a survey reveals Japanese businessmen are prepared to pay five or six times the usual fare for the thrill of flying Virgin.
A new Benetton advertisement showing Li Ka-shing begging is banned.
