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SCMP Reporter

THERE have been strong rumours in the Rotary Clubs that sooner or later a ticking off will be on the way from the headquarters of Rotary International in the US.

  The subject is sex. There are, in fact, two sexes: men and women - although not all the clubs here have acknowledged the fact by actually admitting any females.

  Rotary Clubs mix charity with eccentricity in a semi-Masonic style, and the venerable Rotary Club of Hong Kong, which meets in the Mandarin Hotel every Tuesday is generally reckoned to be one of the top five social bodies in the territory - with many other branches definitely in the top 25.

  A Supreme Court ruling in 1987 meant the end of the men-only days Rotary Clubs in the US, but clubs overseas are moving rather more slowly, and this is a subject of some embarrassment back at the HQ at Evanston, Illinois.

  One member of this progressive wing said last week that tickings off couldn't come soon enough.

   The constitution was changed in 1989, and discrimination is, in theory, no longer allowed, although there is a nod to ''local cultural conditions''.

  But many of the most exclusive clubs in the territory have kept their doors firmly shut to females, prime among them the inner circle of the Rotary Club of Hong Kong.

  District governor at the moment is legislator Moses Cheng Mo-chi, who last week spelled out that there was no way anyone could be barred for reasons of ''sex, religious or political beliefs'', but kept referring to the club as a ''fellowship'', which seemed a giveaway.

  His own club, Rotary Club of Hong Kong North East, has no women.

  ''No candidate has been proposed,'' was the reason.

  Big trouble  EVERY company has its problems, and Pelwatte Sugar Industries has problems with wild elephants.

  The folks at Forbes Research have faxed over their report on Pelwatte, which is listed on Sri Lanka's stock exchange and operates that country's largest sugar factory.

   It includes an analysis of this ''obstructing factor''.

  ''Electric fences which have been put up around the estate are said to have helped minimise the damage,'' says Forbes' Geetha Mageswaran.

  Now, the company is allocating 700 acres for the elephants, hoping they will leave the rest of the estate alone.

  Makes the row between China and Britain - which has certain similarities - seem rather humdrum.

   Dis-Oriented  THE pioneering British commercial spirit that sent trading ships to the four corners of the world appears to have died out completely in Birmingham.

  The Birmingham Chamber of Commerce was last month putting together a trading trip to China, and got 25 expressions of interest from members.

  Then they all started reading in the Daily Express and other papers about how Chris Patten had sparked a trade war with China, and how British traders turning up in Beijing would be lucky to escape with their lives, never mind any contracts.

   So 10 decided not to bother - a full 40 per cent. This left just 15 on the trip.

   According to the chamber, only two of the wimps admitted that it was the politics that did it.

   The others had a mix of plausible and implausible reasons, like saying they wanted to focus on a different market.

   It would serve them right if the ''different market'' was Malaysia.

   Doomsday  OH dear, we are below 10,000 - and the chaps with the rulers and calculators are saying we've had a ''double top'', which is not a type of ice-cream but a pattern of trading which implies the market has exhausted itself.

   Marc ''Dr Doom'' Faber rang without a hint of glee in his voice, pointing out that when markets are at the bottom of a cycle they rise even on bad news, while at the top of the cycle they fall even on good news.

   This week, we've had Sino Land throwing cash around like confetti at the land auction, plus our largest company putting profits up by half. Yet prices have slipped badly.

   ''This is very negative,'' the Doctor said, wildly understating.

   Many popular second-line stocks have been quietly led into a back alley and knifed.

   Fairwood Holdings is 40 per cent off its year high, Champion Technology is a third down from its high, and Hang Seng Bank is off by 30 per cent - at this rate their prices will be negative by July.

   There is one investment strategy that would create a small fortune this year - invest a large one.

   Small talks  THOSE tedious GATT talks have turned out to be pretty much a waste of time.

  That's what it looks like according to a rather wordy report from Standard Chartered, which reckons the Uruguay Round will add a tiny 0.6 per cent to the economy by the year 2005.

  Which means the seven-year negotiations marathon will have less impact on us than the local banking cartel.

   The Consumer Council said on Monday the cartel gave the banks excess profits amounting to 0.8 per cent of all Hong Kong's economic activity in 1991.

  At this rate, it could be three decades before we have broken even on the hotel bills for Uruguay, Geneva, Washington etc.

  Next time they should hold the talks in Wuhan and Dusseldorf, where they'd be over in an afternoon.



But they don't even know the secret handshake!