What Happens in Vegas
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Ron Corddry, Treat Williams
Director: Tom Vaughn
The film: It's possible that Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz got together during the read-through stages of this production and decided the only way to deal with this pile of rubbish was to yell as often as they could, thereby hoping no one would listen to the drivel coming out of their mouths. But that's probably being too kind.
What scares most about What Happens in Vegas is you're left with the conclusion the cast actually think it's funny. There's a smarmy smugness to the whole affair that says, 'hey, look at how wild and wacky we are'. You'll be grinding your teeth within minutes.
The basic premise, in more capable hands than Tom Vaughn's, might have landed some blows on the face of modern social conventions. There's certainly nothing new about it - warring 'couple', thrown together by circumstance, must learn to live together - but they may have played it all off against the temptations of Vegas and perhaps even thought about having the two stars play against type. To borrow a phrase from the city where it's set, no dice.
Diaz (right with Kutcher) plays the lovable goof who - for reasons known only in the heavens - no one up until this point actually does love, while Kutcher plays the obnoxious loudmouth that everyone somehow finds funny, even when he's not. Painfully not.