'Teenagers are so easily tempted these days. When they see they can pay a few hundred dollars for sex, what does it tell them about women? They may get a distorted view and think women don't deserve any respect.'

In most schools, however, sex and life education take a back seat to other priorities in the exam-oriented education system. Although the Education Department recommends a comprehensive programme, schools typically cover the subject in sporadic seminars.

Teachers' workloads are increasing, and the lack of resources and support from the top isn't helping, says Angela Ng Wing-ying, vice-chairman of the Hong Kong Association of Sexuality Educators, Researchers and Therapists. 'A supportive principal makes all the difference because he is the one who gets the wheels turning and green-lights everything from funding to allocation of time.'

A 2006 survey by the association found that time devoted to sex education usually declines in the higher forms as exam pressure sets in. But CMA does the opposite, ensuring that there is one life education class each week for sixth and seventh formers.

'We should do our best to help them develop their moral compass, especially as nobody is going to give them this kind of education when they leave school,' Wong says.

'It's our priority to teach students how to be well-adjusted people, with solid character and the capacity to have rewarding relationships. They may not be able to attend university and make a lot of money, but it will help them in life to learn how to be mature, respectful and responsible.'

CMA has a programme for boys of different ages, covering physical and emotional changes during puberty for Form One students, and dating and intimacy for forms Two and Three. 'We want it to be complete and penetrate many aspects of the lives of the students,' says Wong. It's important for sex education to 'be internalised and continuous', so the school regularly invites speakers from the Family Planning Association, women's groups and other experts not only to give talks but also conduct classroom discussions.

Wong also keeps a lookout for material such as film clips and news reports that may be useful for the programme. 'I go online a lot. It's an excellent source,' she says.

Schools often frame sex education either in terms of contraception and safe sex or preach abstinence before marriage, but Ng urges educators to adopt a more holistic approach to help youngsters deal with coming-of-age issues.

It takes character and self-knowledge to make smart and informed sexual decisions, and it is a significant step into a new phase of life, she says. 'The choice to have sex is one of the first important personal decisions we have to make in absence of parents and friends, and how this is made shapes later attitudes towards love and life.'

Having seen the emotional and physical trauma teenage girls suffer from plunging too quickly into sexual relationships, clinical psychologist Annie Ho Nim-chee couldn't agree more.

'It pains me to see young women get into serious trouble over something innocent like falling in love. Their lives can be ruined by unplanned pregnancies. They have every reason to be smarter and careful when they have sex,' says Ho, who recently published a novel about a mother's attempts to guide her teenage daughters, Sex After 16.

Some religious schools have also adopted broader-based sex education programmes. Although they don't compromise Catholic doctrine on contraception and abortion, girls' schools such Pope Paul VI College and Marymount Secondary School promote discussion of differing views.

'We try to promote our values but we don't force them on students,' says Connie Lam Chui-yan, principal of Pope Paul VI College. 'We encourage public discussion as we are interested to hear what students think.'

Marymount's slogan, which urges students to love boldly but approach sex cautiously, sums up the school's attitude to sex education. 'We introduce contraception concepts, but not in detail,' says guidance co-ordinator Ashley Kwok Man Suk-fan.

'Students are welcome to challenge what we say - sex education is more effective when it's not biased, when we can understand more about each other,' says Kwok. The school regularly holds discussions following presentations on topics such as how the media handles sex.

'Sex education can be done well, no matter what your religious beliefs and personal values are,' says Ng. 'Our common goal is sexual health and happiness for everyone. Everyone should love and live well.'

However, increasingly titillating media and the rampant growth of online pornography over the past 10 years are making it more difficult to help youngsters confused about sex. Wong says schools need to be realistic and open-minded, as being preachy or coy will put students off.

'There's nothing to be embarrassed about if you address sex positively and present the facts,' she says. 'Teenagers tend to be sensitive and flippant about sex because there's no frank discussion, but they will listen if you can substantiate your points.'

At the Yan Chai Hospital Lim Por Yen Secondary School in Tsuen Wan, teachers aren't pulling punches with a curriculum that covers topics such as incest, masturbation, homosexuality and one-night stands.

Guidance master Stephen Choi Hee-cheong is a devoted Christian but he doesn't let his faith dictate the school's sex education programme. 'We believe in presenting different views. Students are entitled to that in a democratic society,' he says.

'Some schools even forbid dating but what good would that do? If we don't talk about something, it doesn't mean it will go away.'

Yet Choi finds it a challenge to keep the curriculum relevant. 'Ten years ago we might have been talking to Form Three students about dating skills, but now we teach them how to end a relationship gracefully,' he says.

'To preach abstinence until marriage is obsolete. But the thing is that many teenagers are not ready and mature enough for sex, and we want to equip them with a positive attitude and knowledge so they'll know what to do when the moment comes. It all comes down to respecting each other. Sex, if taken out of such a context, is meaningless.'

Students such as Cheung Shun-kwan, 19, who took part in a workshop in the Tsuen Wan school to train peer counsellors, have taken that message to heart.

'I know myself better now. I used to make cheap and vulgar jokes because I was curious about sex,' he says. 'Now that I understand better, it's something as normal as bodily functions,' says the fifth former.

Cheung has had several relationships since he was 11, but says he has learned that instant gratification ultimately disappoints.

'My friends think differently, but I've come a long way,' he says.

'I've decided that long-term relationships are more fulfilling than casual encounters. I am not religious, but I want to build trust and respect for the girl before we do it. A healthy relationship is about communication and respect.'

Cheung says he'll bring that to his next relationship, but adds: 'I'd better focus on my studies first.'