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SCMP Reporter

The name on the card is Esben Esther P. Benestad,   of the Department of Health  at the University of Agder  in Norway.
'Esben is a male name, Esther is a female name, and you can call me Esben Esther,' said Dr Benestad.
Did the good doctor prefer 'he' or 'she'?
'You can use 'hir', a gender-neutral pronoun, or call me Doctor Benestad,' replied Dr Benestad.
The word 'hir' is an accepted combination of 'his' and 'her'.
A transsexual is defined as a person who strongly identifies with the opposite gender and  chooses to live as a member of the opposite gender or to become one by surgery
Dr Benestad is  one of the most well-known  transsexuals in Europe. His  son, Even Benestad,  portrayed the doctor  in the  movie All about my father (Alt om min far)  in 2002.
Dr Benestad and his wife, Elsa Almas,  a professor of sexology at the same university, were in Hong Kong last week for a seminar on gender identity issues and trauma.   Dr Benestad said: 'We have to remove the image of 'monster' [that people may have] of transgender people.'
The two  academics,  who have researched transsexuality for years, discovered  that many previous studies were based on false premises.
'Like viewing it as a pathology [disease],' said  Professor Almas.
The couple also discovered  that the origins of depression and anxiety in children with gender-identity disorder lay in external forces.
'We are contacted by parents, some of who are in despair. They want little Tom to behave like little Tom and little Sue to behave like little Sue, but they do not succeed. We teach them about all gender options.
'Later, we discover that the children's pain stops if parents stop [voicing their expectations],' said Dr Benestad.
Asked about what it was like to be married to a transsexual, Professor Almas said: ' To me, 50 per cent of Esben Esther is a man; 50 per cent is a women who gives me inspiration.'
Knowing about the   difficulties for transgender people in Hong Kong, Dr Benestad feels lucky  Norway  has laws that protect transgender people. There are some difficulties  he cannot avoid, such as  problems his son  once had  associating with his father's image as a woman. But his family respects his choice, and his daughter went to transvestite gatherings with him  in Oslo.



Should it be 'he' or 'she'? Just call me 'hir', says gender blender