Dear Toni I get very irritated when people lie. I unintentionally blow up on them. What should I do about it? Is it just me? Am I over-reacting? Cross patch Dear Teeth-gnasher No one likes being lied to, but blowing up when it happens is a problem you need to deal with. Learning to control your emotions is an crucial part of growing up. When you're young, it's acceptable to let your animal reactions loose - laughing, crying or screaming in response to stimuli is natural. But once you're old enough to dress and feed yourself, you're old enough to know what reactions are appropriate, and when. The best thing to do when a situation like that arises is to physically remove yourself from the vicinity of the other person. Just walk away. Give yourself some space and do not deal with it when your emotions are high. Once you have thought about it and calmed down a little, address the person in question. Explain that you don't appreciate being told falsehoods, and that lying makes a person incredibly unattractive. Like flaring up in anger, telling porky pies is something we all need to grow out of. Dear Josh I've been going out with this guy for a while now. I appreciate that he's always kind towards me and supports me all the time; he's a great guy in many respects and I admire him a lot. Despite this, I'm just not romantically inclined towards him. I have hinted of my reservations but I can't bring myself to reject him outright. I don't want to hurt him or make things strained in the future, but continuing this makes me feel like I'm cheating him. It's weighing me down. What should I do? At a loss Dear Not into him You're obviously a caring person, otherwise you wouldn't worry so much about hurting this guy. Don't blame yourself for not liking him as much as he likes you; emotions can't be forced! But in the long run, he's probably going to get hurt if you aren't honest about your (non-)feelings. Your two options here are to end things quickly and stay friends when he's ready, or hope you drift apart naturally. Most people would advise you to be upfront and make a clean break. I would agree. Us guys aren't good at taking hints. And besides, life is too short to spend in a relationship you don't think will last. I bet at least part of the reason your boyfriend is so nice and supportive is that he thinks the romantic feelings are mutual. It's unfair to continue such a relationship - ending it gives you both the chance to find someone more suitable. The hard part is, of course, telling him. But rejection is a part of life and like pulling off a plaster, it hurts most straight after the event. You can start by telling him what a great person you think he is, then explain why he's not right for you. Express your desire to remain friends, if you wish, and don't pressure him if he doesn't look ready. If your bond is strong, you'll become friends again someday. You might want to think about what you want to say, and role play it with yourself. In other words, pretend to be you, and then pretend to be him. That way you won't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Good luck. Dear Toni I've always been really close to my mum: we tell each other everything. She's almost like another best friend. She just found out that my dad has been having an affair with another married woman. This woman happens to be the mother of two very close friends of mine, one of whom I'm in love with. But she's forbidden me from dating her son until we're both 18. Her kids don't know about the affair, my mum is emotional, and I can't be with the love of my life. Help! Stuck in the mud Dear daughter The trouble between your mother and your father should not involve you. Your mother can be your close friend, but you should not be her closest friend. She needs friends her age to talk to about her adult problems. It really is not your place to become involved in the affairs of adults, and certainly not in the affairs of another family. You don't say how old you are now, so I'm not sure how far away 18 is for you, but waiting is not a bad idea. Things are going to become very awkward between your two families as this incident plays out, and through no fault of your own. But right now, the news is fresh and painful for all concerned. The best you can do is give it time. You have your whole life ahead of you. Despite what you feel, you will not die if you do not date this boy right now. If he is the right man for you, you will be together later. Stay friends with him from a distance and know that this time in your life will soon pass and you will be free to see whoever you choose.